it’s back…oh sweet jesus it’s back. and all of my content, which i am furiously backing up right now. oh thank christ.
CAUTION: boring content will ensue…
you’ve been warned.
commencing survey of doom…
1. last person you kissed: the boy, oh…and probably a hobo or two
2. never in my life have i: owned a poolboy island…not yet, mind you!
3. the one person who can drive me nuts, but then can always manage to make me smile: um, jesus? that whole transubstantiation thing really gets my knickers in a twist until i realise that hey, wine has alcomahol in it, so i’m good to go! w00t!
4. high school is/was: over!
5. when i’m nervous: bite my nails, sacrifice small children, twitch uncontrollably, masturbate
6. the last time i cried was: ::sniff:: billy…bastards
7. if i were to get married right now my bridesmaids/groomsmen would be: I WOULDN’T!!!!
8. [was eaten in disgust over last question] that’s right, motherfucker.
9. my hair: sucks…a lot.
10. when i was 5: that would’ve made you a pedophile!
11. last christmas: i got drunk with gravy in my kitchen, hells yeah!
12. when i turn my head left, i see: dead people. naw, kidding…just the spaghetti monster eating tofu that manda drew for me on my workstation tower.
13. i should be: on my very own island of poolboys, being serviced & given fruity drinks of awesomeness.
14. when i look down i see: deez nutz
15. the craziest recent event was: besides the whole concert-postponing debacle? mmm…ikea?
16. if i were a character on friends i’d be: the monkey
17. by this time next year: my pussy will be 2 years old, um…buh?
18.. THERE IS NO 18: um…there is no spoon?
19. i have a hard time understanding: evangelistical christians, hardcore nazi-vegantards, reality tv.
20. one time at a family gathering: “i fucked your dad….fucked him all night long.”
21. you know i “like” you if: i’ve promised your death will be swift & painless during the revolution…
22. if i won an award, the first person(people) i’d thank is/are: i’d thank the Jeez right off the bat, and then my very good friend CRACK for making me the first woman ever to win the superbowl singlehandedly while ninja-kicking the asses of the other team & their diabolical destructo-bots…
what?
23. take it from me: you can scalp someone of their scalp, but you can’t “taint” them of their taint.
24. my ideal breakfast is: whiskey & waffles. the two W’s
25. if you visit the place i grew up: may god have mercy on your soul!
26. where do you plan to visit anytime soon: my pants? no…no…your pants, hah!
27. if you spend the night at my house: you’re sleeping on the futon with the psycho kitty
28. i’d stop my wedding if: ARGH! NO!!! THERE WILL BE NONE!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! DIE DIE DIE DIE!
29. the world could do without: conservatives, evangelistical christians, britney spears, teletubbies, major league baseball, psychovegans, george bush, dick cheney, condoleeza rice, the HIV, new england winters, racism, the size of my ass, cancer, scientology, M.I.A., stargate (in any incarnation), the IRS, hot dogs, and mondays
30. i’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than date: a vegetarian, a virgin, or anything affiliated with the bush administration. or worse: a vegan-virgin condoleeza rice/dick cheney hybrid clone. ::shudder::
31. most recent thing you’ve bought yourself: 19 inches of sexiness, baby. aw yeah!
32. most recent thing someone else bought for you: a really kick-ass lighter (thank you!)
33. my favorite blonde is: buh, i don’t favor blondes
34. my favorite brunette is: trent reznor? no…he cancelled on me. oh…who am i kidding? i still love him.
36. the last time i was high: i saw pirates
37. the animals i would like to see flying besides birds are: sharks! fuckin’ sharks, man! wing-ed sharks!!!!
38. i shouldn’t have been: careless with my balls…it’s getting cold and i miss them. so much!
39. once, at a bar: [censored for explicit content]
40. last night i: played with 19″ of sexiness
41. there’s this girl i know who: is a midget. true story…
42: i don’t know: how to french braid my own hair. alas.
43. a better name for me would be: mr. beefy
44. if i ever go back to school i’ll: stay away from ivy league
45. how many days until my birthday?: a fuckin’ shitload, man. it’s like forever away.
46. what i really want for valentines day is: i’m sorry, i’m not gay.
47. im wearing this: PANTS!
48. tomorrow i am: one more day away from part one of the BSG finale…OMGz0rz!
49. the last thing i ate was: trail mix
50. i really want to learn: spanish, guitar, sewing & tailoring, first-person shooters, how to take over small third world countries…
i’m sorry. did i understand you correctly? you DON’T favor blondes???
your other half is a blonde, you bitch.
though, not naturally, of course, so i wouldn’t be completely put out if you said that redheads were your favorite.