no, seriously…fuck off, you donkey-raping shit eater!
(note: southpark is the only way to cleanse your dvd-player of pauly shore)
after being harassed last night around 1:30 by some exceptionally confused stranger, i did the only logical thing. i slept. and slept and slept. apparently. at least, more than i have all week, which was a blessing. then scooter and i went to kmart for toys and a Fucking Cool Chair before getting thoroughly lost on our way to job #2’s super awesome end of summer (it’s fucking over already?!?!!) party on george’s island.
the island feared my wrath, yo. i swear it; because it fucking knew that i was out for revenge, and tried uber-hard to thwart my return via fucked up directions and road construction from hell.
but two boat rides later and we were there, man! and charred animal flesh was consumed with snackers as well and i fuckin’ shot the fuck out of some menacing geese with my nerf ball gun & my PLENTIFUL BALLS!!! and scooter got to have a whole fort to herself.
all & all, a fuckin’ great day with three — count ’em — three boat rides. oooh, and there were smores! real ones, made in a fire and everything. that was pretty spiffy. and ghetto rum & cokes on the boat ride back.
the only low point of our evening was renting movies. we miss-guidedly (is that even a word?) picked up pauly shore is dead because it had some funny people in it and thought it would be good. wrong! it was so piss poor that even violating my new winnie-the-pooh coloring book didn’t help. the tv had to be shut off immediately and much vodka drunk to get the taste of evil out of our mouths. additionally, south park had to be put on. something funny was desperately required. also, how dare they tease me with pauly shore’s death an then turn around and have it not be real? i mean, someone should just put that fucker out of his misery, damnit! additionally, i feel violated for the lack of carrot top warnings.
god bless southpark.
