as if one r. kelly in the world isn’t bad enough…as if one r. kelly wannabe in the world isn’t bad enough!!! it seems that the newest addition to our psycho little household has some major urophilia issues. this fat fuck right here just can’t wrap his tubby brain around the concept of a fucking litter box. even my demented ball of spastic fur — aka lola, aka the whore — can figure out where cats are supposed to do their business. and sure, she sometimes gets too overzealous about making her poo into a plaything; or you know, she never has to poo until right as we’re about to eat…but i’m hoping that can be chalked up to kitten retardism. hopefully.
but this fucker…it’s bad enough that he won’t eat any food we give him without barfing everywhere…and i do mean everywhere! (normally animals won’t foul up places where they eat and sleep, but he doesn’t seem to care! he’ll barf right next to the food dish, he’ll hurl immediately after stuffing his tubby, drooling face! maybe he’s bulemic…) and it’s wretched enough that he decides to piss all over my favorite jeans when i’m in the shower, thus making me considerably later out the door in the morning. and it’s god damned annoying that he’s picked one spot in the house to claim as his own little watersports arena, thus permanently staining it with cat pee no matter how hard we scrub it out.
but it’s fucking fucked the fuck up when he pees all over the clothes scooter set aside for salvation army donations and then — in the same eveing! — fucking re-pisses all over his designated Pee Spot. it’s fucking disgusting.
i’m too sleep-deprived to fix that little problem right now, but i know what tomorrow morning (today) holds in store for me once i’ve semi-woken up: another round of cleaning cat pee.
yay.
