the battlestar galactica finale (part 2) looms on the horizon, and i can barely contain myself. 90 — yes, that’s right NINETY — minutes of fucking awesomeness that is going to make me explode everywhere…seriously, i don’t know how i’m going to get through the whole week in one piece. that, coupled with the rescheduled NIN concert…oh boy, i’m going to be a mess.
and like, it’s so hard not to get horribly spoiled by the upcoming finale because you can’t read anything about the show without massive spoilers left & right (which sucks). yet, even the podcast for part 1 of the finale has me very, very nervous over the whole thing. if anything could drive me to damn near drinking, this could be it. instead i’ll just have to settle for uncontrollable screaming…
because, there’s a lot going on right now, and the finales are always kind of, completely galvanizing…it’s hard to keep track of everything. so much has happened since even the middle of the season, the faux-finale of pegasus, that it’s overwhelming. and if that [pegasus] was overwhelming…this friday’s episode is going to be…well, jesustits, i can’t even imagine!
the olmos: it’s no secret that i *heart* the olmos. how fucking thrilled was i when he survived the evil boomer whore’s ill-advised assassination attempt? he’s come a long way, he’s gone from a singularly-minded, military protocol-driven enforcer to a genuinely empathatic protector of the fleet. he’s acquired a bit of humility faced with his own mortality, and is quite a bit more open minded. i think he really does have the best interest of the fleet in mind. and like, he’s the fucking olmos, yo. i am ever-so thrilled that the evilboomerwhore didn’t kill him off, and even moreso with his character development. he’s been fleshed out considerably. he’s not just this faultless, one-dimensional, imposing military figure. he’s the father figure to the crew, he’s the protector of the fleet, he’s diplomatic (when he wants to be), he’s multi-faceted. and you know, he’s also one of the most unfortunate looking characters that you can’t take your eyes off of. also, the olmos drowned a baby. i repeat: he fucking DROWNED.A.BABY. that makes him a god in my world. so say we all…(which offically makes me the dorkiest thing in the planet right now, possibly ever)- appollo: is british and like a woman. i don’t know, there are semi-warm/mushies when he’s with the olmos and it’s like ‘awww, they’ve forgiven eachother! now they’ll make out! ewww!’ buuuuuut… he still gets on my nerves occassionally when it’s like ‘man, fucking grow a pair!’ and, i don’t think he was worthy of sacrificing billy for. but, whatevercakes. i’m iffy as to whether or not the pegasus is actually doomed, because with appollo as commander now…it’s not likely they’ll kill off a main staple of the show. annoying or not (character-wise) jamie bamber is a pretty fucking awesome actor. you may not like how whiny, and wishy-washy, and sometimes judgemental (specifically of starbuck) appollo can be…but he pulls it off. personally, i’m a little squicked by the whole d/appollo thing, but that’s a million times better than if he hooked up with starbuck. cuz that would be…just…wrong.
starbuck: the problem with being a hero is: you’re human underneath it all. the problem with being at the top of your game is: you’ll eventually come crashing down. the problem with being the best is: you’ve got everyone waiting for you to fuck up. starbuck is my favorite…episodes with her are always the best. but, oh my god, what are they doing to her?!?!? like, this god damned anders character…why.won’t.you.die? [feminist rant] i applaud ron moore for making all of his central, female characters these strong, able, independent women. they’re capable, they’re integral to the fleet, and they’ll kick your ass if you cross them. it’s refreshing to see, and it’s about god-damned time![/feminist rant] but…it was like a fucking punch in the stomach to see the show’s number one (possibly second only to the prez) female lead galvanized by a fucking loser, random bit-part dude??!?!?! why? just…why? it’s believable that she’d lose out her ‘top gun’ status after going through so much: knee injury in season one, creepy/mysterious cylon medical procedures on caprica, and the general beatings of warfare. that makes sense, even if it was to an irritating, useless upstart like kat. it’s believable. but anders?! what, 9 months ago she was still kind of heartbroken over zak adama. and genuine feeling — however squicky — has been developed realistically between her & appollo. but…ugh. i hate anders. i hate how my favorite character on the show is in SERIOUS JEOPARDY because of some insane ‘love’ over a fucking idiot. and, maybe he would suck less if they got a decent actor…but the anders ‘character’ is just so god damned lame in the first place. i’m really nervous about the whole starbuck thing, because things are looking very dire on caprica and while i am about 95% certain they wouldn’t kill off one of the most formidable characters on the show, there’s this little part of me inside that remembers just how fucking pure evil ron moore is. …and wants to sacrifice many a small child to make sure something horrible doesn’t happen.- the prez: how much do i love roslin these days? how freaking adorable was she in the beginning of lay down your burdens??! how awesome is her love of tossing everyone out the airlock?! observe:
Roslin: If the baby does survive, the question is — what do we do with it?
Baltar: Do? What are you suggesting? That we throw it out of an airlock?
Roslin: I don’t make suggestions Mr. Baltar, if I want to toss a baby out of an airlock, I’d say so.
–“downloaded”
baby killing AND airlocking all in one scene. awesome. just…awesome. i don’t know, the prez is the #1 character that seriously has grown on me. because i was hella dubious about her at the start — possibly in part because she was such an opposition to the olmos :p and well, watching the whole ‘cancer struggle’ thing was very, very hard. heartbreaking really…as well as her interaction with billy (poor billy!) they were quite cute, i’ll miss that. and i’m nervous about the election, dr. batshit crazy is the sneaky and weaselly(besides being prone to public masturbation), and i have a very real fear that he might have slithered his way into the presidency. but if laura roslin isn’t president anymore…? god…what will happen? mary mcdonnell really is a brilliant actress and makes you believe the humanity, she really sells it. you believe the president genuinely cares about the people & what’s best for the remnants of civilization. you know she cares…and it is quite possible because, unfortunately, that’s all she has. there’s no love interest, there’s no billy, there’s no earth, there are no colonies…there’s work & protecting the fleet. and she’s good at it. so yes, very afraid of election results. and the whole adama/roslin dynamic is really kind of awesome these days — for the love of all things holy may they NEVER HOOK UP! — and it would be quite a letdown to lose that. and, you know, i miss billy. not!billy just isn’t as awesome…though i’ve lessened on my “she’s a cylon” view. - dr. batshit crazy:
oh baltar, where to even begin? seriously, he’s probably one of the most mysteriously mysterious & hilarious & disturbing & volatile characters on the show. he’s a total loose cannon — far more than starbuck or tigh ever could be — and yet somehow remains to be somewhat inconspicuous, possibly by how blatant his craziness is? he really is the mad scientist, through and through. he’s arrogant, obnoxious, self-centered, narcisisstic, greedy, dangerous, disloyal, untrustworthy, unappealing, completely batshit crazy…and absolutely charming. i don’t know what it is, he’s barking mad and he sells it. he has an imaginary friend, people, one he furiously wanks to…but he always manages to pull it off. he glides out of sticky situations practically by a fraction of chance; i don’t even think he knows how he does it, but again and again he does. of course, a lot of it probably has a great deal to do with the fact that his imaginary number six pretty much rules his every waking decision. the evolution of dr. baltar has been interesting, and often-times amusing to watch. he is capable of human emotion & empathy, but i think he forgets it. he’s always vascillating between total destruction & redemption that you never quite know what to expect. though, i have to say, i do not want to see him as president. i don’t think even he really wants to see himself as president, honestly. and i fear this. because there are so many unknown, and known, factors. there’s the horribly broken & confused gina, who is exceptionally dangerous to the fleet. there’s imaginary six, who has just a little too much of a stranglehold on baltar. there’s tom zarek, who i suspect would turn on baltar if it suited his own needs (much like baltar would do to him without hesitation, i’m sure). and there’s the re-downloaded caprica six, who…god…i don’t even want to think of the rammifications of her re-entering baltar’s life. it could be disastrous. oh, and every time i remember starbuck fucked him, it’s very squicky. - the chief:
dear sweet mother of god what are they doing to the chief? or more accurately, what in the crapfuck has the evilboomerwhore done to the chief?! that loveable, cuddly, gorrilla-like guy that has always been there, dependable & true, the one everyone relies on to keep the equipment running & ensure the safety of the pilots, the chief we all know and love…is damn near as batshit crazy as baltar. in a way, and i hate to say this, he very much is the perfect match for the sleeper evilboomerwhore. it’s like there was all this crazy, all this pressure, all this unstability just lurking under the surface waiting to burst through. you always would see the chief as this in-control, capable dude. but then…in a way similar to starbuck’s downfall…he just breaks. which, finding out you’ve been banging a machine all this time, and in some cases aiding & abetting sabotage of your own ship…well, that’s got to eat away at a dude. he’s been through so much since the initial cylon attack, lost so much, that you can’t help but feel for the poor bastard. also, as it was revealed, he’s the son of a priest; self-persecution/loathing and major guilt complexes tend to go hand-in hand with religion. typically, anyway. and as lucky as he is for not being the one to spawn with a cylon, you know deep down in there he probably wishes he was. and it’s sad. he’s so lost and broken, much like most of the fleet, you just feel for that dopey gorilla. annnnd i don’t know how this is gonna play out, cuz watching him wail on cally was rough. especially when she clearly idolizes him, and has since the mini-series. cally fucking loves the chief. although this show is notorious for almost pairing up characters that have a very sibling feel to their relationship, but man…still…even if it wasn’t cally, watching the chief snap like that is rough. again, another character i sincerely hope they don’t off in part 2. of course, i severely doubt he is a cylon. i think he’s just been very broken & fucked over by them. - helo:
how much do i love helo? (this show is totally full of loveable/pathetic little puppy dogs, you can’t help but love: billy, the chief, helo) how freaking worried am i that the evilboomerwhore is totally going to get him killed? like, horribly, awfully killed. and you know, i mean, the greatest thing about him is he’s a totally stand-up guy. he’s like, the best friend you could ever have. and he’ll love you right back. even if you’re wrong, or you’re fucking up, or you’re lost & broken too, he’s the perfect friend who will love you no matter what. even if he doesn’t quite get what’s wrong with you (starbuck) or doesn’t have any answers, he’s still gonna be there. every time. and, he’s so god damned selfless (giving up his seat for baltar), so earnest..that…that is probably what is going to get him so horrifically killed. and on the one hand you feel bad because he can’t help but love an evil machine, and he also is suffering from the “loss” of their evil spawn, but on the other hand, you know eventually he’ll pick himself up. he’s very “buck up, lil camper”. of course, if helo dies…i say that puts the fleet in grave danger. because he is — along with the spawn — the number one reason evilcapricaboomer was so compliant, so desperate to survive, so willing to help the fleet, so “agreeable”. and she’s in a very unstable state right now, and that puts helo in a whole hell of a lot of danger. and i believe if she gets him killed, if she kills him herself, she’s most likely going to snap — in anger, in grief, in revenge, in evil cylon whore-ness — and it’s going to put a whole lot more lives in grave danger as well. the dire “rescue” situation on caprica (stupid, stupid anders) could be just one horrific tragedy, and i think a great deal of it hinges on helo/capricaboomerwhore. - doc cottle: doc cottle is NOT a cylon! (screw you, boy!) he’s not. and large in part because newly revealed “priest” character counseling the chief is pretty much doc cottle light, but obviously a cylon. even moreso, obviously a cylon counterpart to the overly evangelistical caprica/imaginary six model. his glib remarks on the colonial religion while counseling the chief belie a subtle disdain for the polytheism, and is most likely geared to get the humans to doubt their faith, maybe even defect. i don’t know quite what his motives are, but they can’t be good…and as a priest, he has likely had influence over a large number of people. furthermore, he’s no where near as doc cottle, who is awesome. he’s stodgy, he’s obstinate, he’s blunt & to the point, and he’s resolute. and it’s awesome how he always has a cigar or something, even when he’s calling someone down or standing up for his patients. he’s diplomatic & not afraid to say what he’s thinking (which is usually something great). really, i just am full of doc cottle love.
- dee: dee grew boobs. dee hosed billy. dee is boinking appollo, and that could seriously impact her life expectancy. except…except…if dee were horrifically killed, that could make appollo so freaking mopey & morose that he would be completely and totally unbearable. then again, since the beginning, dee has been the voice of galactica. her & gaeta are fixtures, man. and maybe she had her reasons for screwing over billy so badly — without actually screwing him — but still…someone should punch her in her newly-acquired tits.
- tigh (ellen tigh): you know, i actually like col. tigh. and he hasn’t been a figure much lately. the occassional quip, banter with the olmos, random line in the CIC. of course, we have to deal with his filthy, filthy wife in a whole episode (sacrifice), but we don’t get much tigh anymore. and that’s a shame, i think. because, in his day, he could’ve been great. but he’s old, he’s worn, he’s horribly flawed…he’s like a walking, talking warning sign to starbuck of what “could” happen. sometimes he provides much-needed levity to the show, but he’s faded into the background and that’s unfortunate. i really hope part 2 has at least a bit more col. tigh. and if ellen is airlocked or something, that’d be cool too.
- that boomer whore: [insert seething, burning hatred here] seriously, i fucking hat boomer. all boomer incarnations: galactica boomer (dead), caprica boomer (talons-in-helo, formerly-spawning, extremely dangerous), downloaded boomer (so screwed up she’s bound to be dangerous). galactica boomer broke the chief, shot the olmos, consistently sabotaged the ship. i cheered when cally shot her, and every time i see that scene again. if the caprica boomer is so capable of “choosing” her own way (i.e. saving helo, saving the adamas [home pt. 2], helping the fleet, etc.) and such, even if she essentially had the same “programming” as galactica boomer…then why the fuck couldn’t galactica boomer choose to subvert her inherent, evil cylon nature? if she knew, if she doubted, if she feared she was a cylon…why did she let it play out so god damned long if not because of the part of her that seriously wanted to destroy the fleet. if inherent nature is unavoidable, then she’s accountable. which brings me to caprica boomer, who sucks even more. she set out to trick poor, loveable helo…she fell in love. or something like it, and either way it was bad because it resulted in evil spawn. i fear this boomer most, because she is highly unstable (possibly more than galactica boomer), she’s sneaky, she’s conniving (even keeping things from helo, refusing to name the cylons for adama), she’s full of ‘wounded mother’ rage & angst, she’s totally (and completely, now) out to save her own hide, and she’s got major-league beef with the fleet. she’s full of righteous indignation that she’s “just a machine” and i think she’s going to rain it all down on everyone — most likely on caprica — in a horrible way. at this point, she’s acting very ‘nothing to lose’, and that’s a bad, bad sign. oh, and i hates her. now there’s downloaded boomer (god, why won’t they die?)…who, i could only see her appearance on galactica/newly discovered planet/etc. as beyond completely disastrous. if she shows up on galactica, that will likely be the last nail in the chief’s coffin and/or drive the olmos mad. if she shows up on the planet, well, then the cylons know about it and that would be awful. if she appears in the caprica battle, i can only hope that she’s destroyed before helo. i could go on, but my boomer-induced rage would most likely cause destructive things.
- six:
six is just plain awesome. yes, she’s a cylon; yes, gina six is probably going to destroy the pegasus or something worse; yes, she’s baltar’s imaginary friend; yes, she’s a religious zealot…but she is just so fucking amazing to watch. she’s razor sharp, manipulative, malleable, fierce and frightening. she fucking owns baltar’s ass, be it imaginary model or downloaded caprica model. baltar could be one of the most dangerous non-cylon forces in the fleet and he bends to six’s every whim. that makes her a force to be reckoned with. and, honestly, i fell in love with her the instant she killed that filthy baby in the miniseries. who doesn’t love baby killing?!? yes, she’s an evil, manipulative cylon, but she is upfront with it. six is very no-questions-asked. and as much as i love starbuck, the six/starbuck knock-down, all-out brawl was awesome. she’ll kill, she’ll lie, she’ll even fuck a batshit crazy to get the job done. she’s the uber-seductress, and she isn’t the standard issue beauty. she’s not all tits & no brain, and that is very refreshing. in fact, she’s almost somewhat unattractive…except she’s got excessive amounts of confidence, and the stark look of her goes very well with her character. as for imaginary six, she could make or break baltar. he’s her fucking plaything and she knows it…(and how much do i love that downloaded six has an imaginary baltar, too?) gina six worries me, she’s clearly given up on the cylon cause or whatever, but one must tread lightly when someone has lost the will to live. since her introduction she’s been yearning to die, and after her perceived-betrayal by the cylons, i really don’t believe she gives a shit who she takes out with her. even if that were to include baltar (though i doubt it will). gina six is going to play an important role in part 2, i’m sure of it. i am also sure it is going to be devastating. downloaded six i fear because if she was a religious zealot before the destruction of caprica, she is even more fervent now. also, she knows baltar is alive, so you know there’s going to be some sort of confrontation…and that is going to be just tragicomic. and possibly have horrible repercussions. six is one of the most complex characters on the show, even moreso than baltar, and she’s primarily straightforward about everything. also, i only recently — thanks to the boy — remembered the baltar accusational six from season one…and now i’m very curious as to what exactly happened to her… - the cylons: hmmm…let’s see there’s doral, leoben, simon, de biers, six, boomerwhore, and now (i’m just gonna go ahead and stick with this) priest dude. along with the centurions, base stars & raiders. and i love the raiders. without the resurrection ship, the entire modus operandi of the cylons has changed. downloaded boomer & six have begun what could be an internal cylon revolution…which could be bad for the fleet. then again, is anything cylon ever good for the fleet? so far, no. but still, thus far that’s 7 human models out of 12…i’m hoping that moore reveals additional in part 2, but i bet he’s going to stretch it out all the way into season 3 for as long as possible. because he’s evil like that. so…so evil.
- helo/boomer spawn: i really wanted the prez to airlock it, i will not deny this. partially because the prez airlocking things is awesome and partially because i hate babies & cylon babies have to be like 9 million times worse than human babies. although, as i mentioned before, i deeply fear baltar winning the election and the spawn is a reason why. because, while i think it was extremely prudent of the prez to keep the spawn’s true fate secret to baltar…who is going to look in on that thing if roslin loses? who will maintain the secret? if she’s just an ex-prez she won’t have any authority, and most likely won’t be able to just pop in and be like ‘hi, i’m just going to
check out this creepy hybrid babything, and notice anything different about her? glowing spine, perhaps? rusty parts?randomly visit you even though i’m not president anymore, can i hold your baby?’ i just…i don’t know, man…i do believe that the cylon hybrid spawn is a bad thing.
annnnd…i’m clearly obsessing and just making things worse for myself…and i still have days — DAYS — to go until impending explosion. so, yeah…i should really just go to the gym now or something.
/uber-dorkdom
Just for your info Rachel, when you do (eventually) drop by, this is what you have to look forward to.
And 24 is next on my list of dvds to borrower….