::growl::
it could not be contained…
dear mentally-incapacitated roommate,
i dig that you’re a dude, and therefore by simplest of anatomical comparisons NOT A GIRL, like myself. i get that…fully understand it.
and therefore, i understand the whole ‘toilet seat up/toilet seat down’ conflict that occurs when males and females reside in the same domicile. been there before, done that, etc.
it honestly doesn’t bother me if you leave the toilet seat up. i don’t particularly mind. and i’d be lying if i said you hadn’t been good about it, you have.
but listen up you spoiled, little, piece of shit, whiny, self-obsessed, immature, lazy ass sonofabitch…and listen good, you fucker.
even a fucking trained monkey knows not enough to fucking piss on the god damned toilet seat, you disgusting excuse for a human being! what the HELL is the matter with you?
i would PREFER if you lifted the toilet seat up and left it fucking up as opposed to coming home and having to clean up your truly nastifying mess. i feel like i need three more showers now, god DAMN what the hell?!
i’ve potty-trained two children and lived with three adult dudes before and still not had as many bathroom issues as with your mind-bogglingly retarded ass!
i get that you probably have a microscopically small baby dick and all, but i’m sure even a blind man has better aim than you, you fucktastically retarded wank!
::seethes with anger::
if i ever have to deal with shit like this again i will be using your motherfucking TOOTHBRUSH to clean it up!
FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING FUCK!!
with no small amount of anything remotely resembling love,
pineapplep.s.
nearly burning the apartment down with your god damned neglected kettle this weekend was NOT appreciated, douchebag!
that. is. all.
