i have the best friends ever, really. everything in my life is such a jumbled fucking mess right now, but the people in it never cease to amaze me. god, that sounds so trite, doesn’t it?
it’s just…there’s a handful of people that i really and truly love, unconditionally. and it wasn’t until everything happened that i realized, you know, they might love me too. i’m lucky.
last week was just so completely wretched…just…horrible. and when i least expected it, people were there. unasked, unexpected, wonderful. i mean, gravy drove all the way down from csprings for just one day. and i know he’s so busy, he has jobs to juggle and all that school bullshit to deal with. i don’t know what i’m going to do for that boy…he’s done so much for me already. at the drop of a hat, when i’ve needed him, he’s been there. and that means more to me than anyone will ever know.
robbie and baus have been great, in fact, i’m going to see them tonight. and robbie went all the way to denver with me when i took the boy back to the airport. the drive home was great, we spent forever catching up on everything and i realized just how much i’ve missed having him in my life. for a brief while, it made me wish i never moved away. because things would be so much easier if i could bounce them off him every once in a while. we’re more alike than i realized, and he totally understands me. no, wait…that’s not entirely right. he accepts me. that’s priceless.
i went to lunch with brubaker yesterday and just hung out. i like how i don’t have to explain myself or hash out my emotions or whatever with the people that really matter. all these strangers and whatnot keep coming up, coming in, intruding…and it’s so overwhelming. but with my friends…that doesn’t happen. they don’t make me do that, and it’s exactly what i needed. and when i stop to think…holy shit, man, i have known brubaker since i was 7-years-old.
that is just plain ricockulous…can you believe it? i can’t believe it…eighteen years, christ on a bike. that’s too much to believe.
heh. we suck at meeting new people.
