guy with the ugly fuckin’ kid in my seat, it’s 5 fucking 30 in the morning…why in god’s name must you be an uber douche and totally fuck with my day?
the following is a list of all the ways in which you are MONUMENTALLY FUCKING WRONG:
- neither you nor your whiny ass kid have a boarding pass that says your seat is 22A — i, however, do. so fuck off.
- it’s a 6 fucking am flight, what the fuck is your kid doing wanting to look out the damn window? that bastard should be unconscious, much like i plan to be, plus his dopey ass is barely big enough to see out the stupid fucking window.
- you assumed i would give a shit about your stupid little kid, and his stupid whining for a window seat. you were motherfuckin’ WRONG, asshole. i could give a shit about you, your kid, or any other motherfuckin’ kid on the damn plane. come to think of it, there are too many fucking kids on this plane. i hate children.
- when i called the stewardess over — yeah, i fuckin’ called your ass out — you wouldn’t show your WRONG boarding pass. and tried to gain empathy for your bastard child. that’s a dick move, especially from a dude.
- the plane was so fucking crowded you didn’t even try to move yourself or your fucking little bastard, so i had to stand there half fucking conscious hating you and your kid just wanting to sit the fuck down.
- because you are an inconsiderate asshole — and thus teaching your stupid child to be an inconsiderate asshole — if i said or did anything to rectify the situation, i ended up lookin’ like the douche here. what the hell? and who the fuck steals someone’s seat on a flight that fucking early?!
- additionally, you didn’t even pay attention to your asshole fucking kid AND you had a bunch of fucking vodka at 6 in the fucking morning! awesome parenting there, douche-nozzle.
other offenses include: constantly smacking me with your stupid, douchey elbows; being way too fucking loud at unholy o’clock; having an asshole kid that is way too fucking loud at unholy o’clock; taking my fucking seat for your god damned huge as fuck carry on bag; and generally being an epic fucking douchebag.
i hate you, i hate your kid, i hope your connecting flight goes down in flames. or you both get gonorrhea (of the ASS!).
fuck off and die, the both of you.
sincerely,
deez nutz
