my mind and my body are in a deliberate and frustrating battle against each other right now. it feels like a steel vice is slowly but steadily trying to squeeze out the contents of my skull; and the instant i bend forward less than a 90-degree angle blood pounds into my temples threatening to burst. i feel tense and slick and coiled inside…a whole other set of pressure causing aches and twinges that give me pause, make me sit up and wince.
my body is a map of disturbances right now, all of it in sharp relief against the landscape of this encompassing headache that has lasted all.fucking.day.
my mind, however…that’s another story…
in fact, i’m a bit baffled as to how i can be thinking the things that i am when i feel like a very special type of death-warmed-over. it’s as if the one part of my brain that is not writhing under extreme pressure has vacationed off to a particularly naughty resort…it is taunting me with images and ideas of everything i feel to wretched to even seriously contemplate.
to give you a better idea of what’s swirling around in the devastated remains of my poor brain meats, feast your eyes:
when asked what i think is the sexiest part of a man…i have trouble fully articulating it without just making noises…but this, this is what flashes into my mind. i’m also quite taken in by hands…long fingers, smooth palms, i don’t know why hands and arms draw me in. but they pale in comparison to this…
this which is currently dominating the few scattered thoughts i have that aren’t completely centered around aching pains and pleasegodmakeitstopkillmenow thoughts.
and thus, i find myself in one hall of a quandry, because a.) what the fuck? and b.) it’s totally not fair.
apparently i have managed to piss off my subconscious to some extent and it is doing its damnedest to torture me — in the midst of the WWIII of fucking headaches — with all sorts of incredibly naughty things that i couldn’t do right now if i tried.
the hell?
