after the animation show, my weekend took a decided upturn. what could possibly improve it — especially in the face of a particularly shitty sunday coming up? why, the Incredible Hulk, of course!
now, i’m a bit skeptical after the giant-fucking-flop that was ang lee’s 2003 attempt at the hulk. i mean…i don’t even clearly remember wtf that movie was about exactly. jennifer connelly was the best part of the whole damn thing (a. she was in labyrinth thus i love her forever and b. she’s fucking gorgeous) and her talents were utterly fucking wasted on that steaming pile of trash movie. in fact, the only thing that movie had in common with the actual hulk world was: there is a dude who gets big/violent/green when he’s angry. and that’s about it.
this movie, however, took the hulk in an entirely new direction, and it was oh-so-right. no retarded convoluted bullshit, no random ass story that had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with the hulk or the marvel universe (which was really what the whole problem with the last movie). plus, it had edward fucking norton! in the 2003 “hulk” there was some australian wanker trying to be bruce banner trying to be the hulk. and he failed so miserably that he no longer has a name and in any future movies is referred to henceforth as THE HULK! just like that swotty little bastard from LOTR will forever be LEGOLAS and why troy had fucking the hulk and legolas and still sucked. whereas edward norton is fucking edward norton as the hulk instead of some random fuck*. cuz i fucking loves me some edward norton. and really, who doesn’t?
Edward Norton – While Eric Bana did a decent job, he just didn’t have the acting skills that Edward Norton does to insert himself in any role any become it. With Hulk (2003) you where watching an actor play Bruce Banner. In The Incredible Hulk Edward Norton WAS Bruce Banner. He owned the role.
he was so deliciously awesome in this, i have never loved the hulk more! plus the excessive SMASHY SMASHY AWESOME SMASH! was so fucking great! so much destruction, so much carnage! and a healthy amount of explosions and gunfire, too. it was everything i fucking love in a movie, and more. also, mr. orange was the abomination! how cool is that? not only was there an abomination, thus providing a considerable foe for the hulk (after a while, seeing him smash the shit out of hapless, puny soldiers can get kind of dull) but they got a stellar actor to play the part! score!
all in all, the marvel film production team has been churning out some major hits lately. and while you do still have to put up with the occasional stupid stan lee “cameo” it’s a pleasant surprise.
the cake is a lie.
*Note: calling sean astin “RUDY!” forever and ever (and especially in LOTR) is not a disrespect as with australian hulk wanker, but mad props to him for being the best fuckin’ thing on film ever.
Hehehehe, “swotty.”