so, finally saw the watchmen last night. i cannot speak to whether or not the movie destroyed the book or not because i have not yet read it, but it was enjoyable enough. the thing i’ve noticed is people either love the shit out of the movie or it totally sends them into a frothy, uncontrolled rage. those are the main two critical responses i’ve seen. i fall into neither of those categories. i could take it or leave it: the movie wasn’t great, but it wasn’t horrible either.
some down sides:
- 3+ minute awkward sex scene to fuckin’ “hallelujah” (which is hilarious after the fail!sex scene where night owl can’t get it up).
- really, slow and boring plot
- not enough blue penis
- that fucked up rabbit-eared tiger thing that had no damn explanation
some up sides:
- dr. manhattan is totally fuckin’ naked, and you see his blue peen a lot (but not enough, obviously)
- it was sufficiently violent and gory enough (hooray for zak snyder)
- the characters actually had some character, and were not cardboard-cutout props of themselves
- i liked a lot of the still-photography style shots
the movie actually lived up to expectations, i guess you could say, because i didn’t really have any. i went looking to be entertained, and i was. of course, the damn near three hour run time was long for so little that actually happened. i would have done better with a movie that was nothing but rorschach’s psychotic antics and the comedian blowing shit up left and right. they were the most engaging characters.
a little disappointed at how 1-dimensional and plain the female characters were. the only one i was moderately interested in(the silhouette), that seemed like she would be engaging enough, was murdered in the opening credits for her “degenerate lifestyle”. because everyone knows how evil and demonic lesbians are. especially hot lesbians.
meh.
and i do admit to being senselessly amused by the glowing blue peen that filled up the screen on numerous occasions, because damnit, it’s time someone upped the tally on the full-frontal male nudity. for serious, man. i’ve seen so many god damned boobs, so much cooter (both fully-bushed hairy and bald as a baby’s butt) that frankly it’s getting to be beyond boring. man ass doesn’t quite compare either. in fact, you just don’t see many naked men in films period. unless it’s ewan mcgregor (god bless him) and i think contractually he has required it that he has to flash his junk in at least every other film. but, while nobody bats an eye at any random female starlet shedding her clothes and prancing around bare assed, when a dude does it…it is shocking, and taboo.
it shouldn’t be. 1/2 of all people have penises. the other 1/2 are ladies and have cooters. of course, there’s a standard of deviation for people with ambiguous genitalia and post-op transsexuals but i digress. in the world there is either male or female and that is it. so at least all of them are aware of what penises look like, right? we should be just as used to seeing those on screen as we are any other part of the female body.
objectify the men, strip them down, parade them around! old, young, tall, short, skinny, fat…reduce them to their composite parts on display. if you can do it to a woman, surely you can do it to a man? even if he is blue and glowing.
and i really hope that judd apatow sticks with his ‘a dick in every movie’ theme, except i know he’s already forgotten a few dicks. there wasn’t any in knocked up, after all. (could i survive in a world where i’ve seen seth rogen’s dick? i am not sure…will have to think on that)
