since about august of 2009, roughly, i’ve managed to drop about 26-28 lbs. about 5-7 of that was in the immediate last 6 months (the bulk of that was definitely between october 2009 and august 2010). on the one hand, this is a good thing for a bunch of reasons. health, well-being, peace of mind or whatever. obviously, when you’re weighing less you feel better.
of course, it’s uber gross that i had that much weight to lose in the first place. and also, despite everything, you can’t really tell (this really, REALLY gets to me. half the time i can’t even really tell, but no one else can either…fuuuuuuuck). there are things i couldn’t really comfortably wear before that fit fine now. a lot of stuff is too loose, but it definitely hasn’t been some earth-shattering occurrence.
with work/life stress getting under control (kinda), i’m trying to be more active. i know i have to change my eating habits considerably, but even more than that i need to develop eating habits. years of working at a completely chaotic job with no structure whatsoever left me with a completely fucked up food schedule and has probably fried my metabolism to toast. gotta work on that…
the past few months (which, include the “holiday season” and all the dietary fuckery that entails) i’ve hovered around +/-3 lbs. it’s annoying. i can eat and lose weight, i can not eat and gain. i can work out and nothing really happens. or i can sleep through the gym for 2 weeks and drop 3 lbs. there seems to be no rhyme or reason. this bugs me for two reasons: 1.) all my progress was entirely stress-related starvation and i’m totally going to balloon up like a big ol’ manatee in the next couple of months or 2.) i’ve hit some sort of unfortunate plateau that’s going to take a gargantuan effort to jump start and get over.
neither of these are particularly appealing right now.
and, of course, spring + summer is right around the corner and the heat/humidity + size of my ass is really not forgiving when it comes to what to wear (or, more accurately, what not to wear)…
mope.
/self-indulgent girlie post
