the earliest memory i have of my first car is from when i was about 4-years old. i remember how huge it was, how awesome and powerful-looking and how i always thought it was the perfect car because it was my daddy’s car. and he drove it (and sometimes let my mom drive it) and there was nothing better than riding in that big, beastly thing. all the other cars on the road were nothing compared to this thing, and it was magnificent to look at. i remember pointedly stating that it should be my car (when i was older, kind of…) and to my surprise, my dad said yes. of course, he could have just been humoring me, but i believed him. and, of course, i made sure that he didn’t forget it. and i didn’t care that it was already considered an “old” car by then, i couldn’t help it. so pretty, so powerful. i was smitten.
about ten or so years down the road, it was true. the car was mine. of course, all those years sitting, lying in wait, it took a lot of work and effort and elbow-grease to get the ol’ girl running again. a LOT of work, actually. and there’s something to be said for learning to drive in a big car (and this ol’ girl was a TANK). i can park nearly anything, now. driving modern cars, sedans, coupes, whatever, they’re a piece of cake. even pickups don’t daunt me now. and i went through so, so much in this car. it was amazing, and sometimes it was a total pain in the ass, but it was mine.
it was gorgeous.
and i loved it.
even when it didn’t run and was a rusted out shitbox and falling the fuck apart…
i loved it.
and then one day it was gone. i remember how utterly heart broken i was when they sold my monte. how much utter disbelief i felt when i found out they only got a paltry $800 for it. i mean, on the one hand, that was probably a whole lot more than it was worth at the time… but on the other hand it was a damn slap in the face, really. like, how much time, how much money, how much love i put into that car. how many years it was a part of the family…
you can’t compensate for that, i guess. can’t put a dollar amount on it, i guess. and nobody is willing to pay it.
and that, was that. it’s been almost a decade since my parents got rid of the monte carlo, and it’s always been a real sore spot. i’ve always felt regret, and sadness, and just flat out loss. and i’ve always thought and hoped and dreamed that i would get another one, or get the original back. that was the biggest dream, really, to get my original monte back, restore it to its former glory and just…i dunno? ride off into the sunset?
foolish youth, you know? but i always hoped and prayed and sometimes wished that xzibit would show up at my house and we’d go get the monte and fix it up (with like a million LCD screens in it, to boot!).
but that never happened. and i get older and older, and sadder and sadder.
and last week, driving to training in burlington, an old ’73 or ’74 (i’m pretty sure ’74) pulled onto the road behind me and i could not pull my eyes off of it. flashbacks and all those old feelings just came rushing back. and i tacked on a bit of extra time on my commute.
later, i started searching around the web for classic chevys. i mean, lecture was kind of boring, so you know…and i had a few successful hits. and then…i saw it.
i’ve never believed in love at first site…never. it seems stupid and trite and made the fuck up. i’ve never believed in it…because i had forgotten what it feels like.
it feels like this. i remember this. oh god, i want this.
and so, i did the unthinkable. i called them up. well no, first i obsessed and deliberated and then emailed and then harassed the boy about it and then obsessed some more. and then i called them up. and we set up a test drive, and planned our day and drove all the way to new hampshire and i got behind the wheel and
oh my god…
everything was just as it was. everything was magic. everything was that car and how much i loved it and nothing else.
i had forgotten, actually forgotten what love at first sight feels like. it feels like home.
and now? so in love i can’t even see straight or think straight or feel or just…i can’t, i can’t. we left new hampshire knowing that the car would be mine. it HAD to be mine. i refused to think of, to even consider any other option.
sunday was spent agonizing over how much i loved it, wanted it, needed it, missed it, oh my god had to have it. and all day today, mooning about like a lovesick puppy thinking about how much i had to make this happen. i resolved to make it happen.
the car will be mine!
so phone conversations were had, funds were transferred, plans were hatched. and the car? it is as good mine! by the end of the month, i will be behind the wheel of this gorgeous bad boy. possibly even sooner!
and it is possibly the greatest thing in the world. i don’t know how i’m going to focus on anything else until the keys are in my hand and it’s all mine…but it’s going to be the greatest thing ever.
