[insert high-pitched squealing only dogs can hear here]
GREEN
i’ve had nothing but an insane slew of thoughts swirling around in my head & ultimately crashing upon one another as i wait for my brother to arrive. i really can’t believe it, sabes. in two days — solo dos dias — he’ll be here. this time friday his plane will be landing and i will beside myself with glee, f’sho.
however, at work, my mind wanders. a lot, actually. and well, every time i look at someone’s expedite application i see their immediate travel plans. men, women, children, old people, babies, all walks of people fixin’ to see the world. a few days, a few weeks, in some cases even a few months; they’re on their way out. they’re living.
exotic locations and all corners of the globe they’re scampering off to. our office being one of the last steps in preparation for their respective journeys. and i sit there, prepping applications, scanning pictures, processing…and i all i see is: bolivia, the dominican republic, italy, germany, cape verde, bermuda, jamaica, puerto rico, brazil, new zealand, france, greece, romania, japan, iceland, canada, mexico, peru, argentina, costa rica, haiti, turkey, sweden, switzerland, portugal, spain, england, amsterdam.
and there’s something inside me that squirms with possibility and pure jealousy. and the next breath i take is stale. if you look within the pages of my own passport, i’ve filled up merely one, maybe two sheets. out of 24. and some people, some people i see, request 48-page booklets. it doesn’t cost any extra. 48 pages, because they intend to use it, to fill it up. 48 pages of possible locations and experiences…
and when i see that, i am green in more ways than one.
BOOZE, BUTTSEX & BITCHEZ
so yesterday i was on this big fluffy cloud of glee, because i heard from robbie. no matter what’s going on or where i am or whatever two boys are bound to put a smile on my face without a doubt: robbie & graves. and so like, i’m excited & shit, right? it was so out of the blue, because robdog is not exactly what we call “technologically advanced”; te lo juro, i’m suprized he even has an email account that he can use! and well, we suck at the keeping in touch stuff. which is entirely his fault. but because i love the little bastard — again, with these boys “little” is well above the 6′ mark — i forgive him this repeated transgression.
then again, we don’t really need constant communique to maintain our friendship. i mean, dios mio, i’ve known this boy for more than half my life. more.than.half, yo. we’ve rolled in the mud together & caught frogs; we’ve played soccer & basketball & football together; we’ve made fun of people at boring ass school dances & shared secrets like girls (seriously, he’s like my favorite girl in the world, and he has the softest hands ever. wtf is up with that? he’s supposed to be a boy); we’ve been through damn near everything separately together — i know, it doesn’t make sense, but for us it does. the bottom line is, no matter how much time goes between us even so much as speaking to each other, much less actually seeing one another, we always pick up right where we left off. he’ll try and suffocate me with one of his big ol’ tard hugs and i’ll make sure that he’ll eventually have to piss blood. we make fun of each other, say the stupidest things ever, and catch up almost seamlessly.
so he emailed me, and like, a lot has changed since we last saw each other. changed for us both. and he actually spilled a robbie fear, or secret, rather. and i couldn’t possibly love him more for it. but…now that i’m so full of things to say to him i’m practically choking back the words…i don’t know what to say.
it’ll probably come out something like:
“i misseded you, nurrrr! me happy you alive! me want see you! nurrrr!”
which, unfortunately, he’d probably understand. i swear, it’s freaky how the kid can just look at me and know what i’m thinking, or understand my senseless babbling. out of all the folks i went to school with, brubaker, graves and robbie are my dearest.
and you know it’s love, when he’s still one of my favorite people in the world even if he is a staunch republican and a redskins fan and actually makes me kind of — KIND OF — wish i were going to colorado for a bit this summer. i mean, look at him — look at heeeeeem! — isn’t he just the most adorably retarded thing you ever saw? don’t you just want to kick him in the shins? (which my brother does everytime he sees robbie) he would so cry his little eyes out pretend to kill me if he remembered i had this pic. heee!
that said, i should probably work on briefly summarizing the last year or so in a coherent manner that is not: booze, buttsex & bitchez!
(truth be told, that’s probably what i’ll tell him!)
