oh god…he doesn’t love me. he doesn’t love me. he doesn’t love me. he doesn’t love me. he doesn’t love me. he doesn’t love me. he doesn’t love me. he doesn’t love me. he doesn’t love me. he doesn’t love me. he doesn’t love me. he doesn’t love me. he doesn’t love me. he doesn’t love me. he doesn’t love me. he doesn’t love me. he doesn’t love me. he doesn’t love me. he doesn’t love me. he doesn’t love me. he doesn’t love me. he doesn’t love me. he doesn’t love me. he doesn’t love me. he doesn’t love me. he doesn’t love me. he doesn’t love me. he doesn’t love me. he doesn’t love me. he doesn’t love me. he doesn’t love me. he doesn’t love me. he doesn’t love me.
*sob*
please god make it stop, please fucking make it stop. please please please please. make this fucking stop!
i can’t take it. i can’t deal. i can’t live like this. omfg. you know what i just realized? i…i…i’m his ex-girlfriend. i’m not somebody’s girlfriend anymore. i’m somebody’s ex. i’m the ex. oh god. i never thought, i never imagined. not with john. not like this. i always…i thought. i hoped. i loved. oh how i loved. everything and anything i had i put into my relationship with him. everything. every. fucking. thing.
oh god…oh god…oh god…
nothing has hurt this bad in a long while. not since i lost my gram. but that was a hurt unimaginable. because it was final. this…there’s so much uncertainty swirling around this that i can’t even begin to comprehend. he’s there, but he’s not. we’re over forever…but we might not be…
oh god.
how am i going to survive this? how?
