pffffffffffttttttttt!!!!!!!
lamest labor day ever…in the history of the world. of course, i could give a fuck about labor day so i suppose it doesn’t matter that much. although i did wake up unholy early after passing out hella late last night and all i could think was wtf? why am i freaking awake?!
why, indeed.
last night sucked balls for reasons of exfucktards being complete and total asshats about everything. and like i give a fuck how freaking amazing the girl he’s currently fucking is! HONESTLY…wtf? do i care? no…not at all.
i would, however, be mildly amused to find out she’s come down with the gohna-syphil-herpal-warts (tm gravy)…now THAT would be fantastic. *hopes* who knows, maybe she will contract something. yay! or you know, get her dirrrrty ass deported. that would be fantastic, if the INS were to beat down her door and drag her disease-ridden whore ass away.
yeah, i’m bitter…so?
in other news…much has gone on today, as well as a whole lot of nothing.
#1. my dresser sucks all the ass in the world…i’m really going to have to get a new one and just beat the fuck out of this one because it is so fucking falling apart. i hate it. i mean, i need it right now, but fuck do i ever hate the hell out of it! *grumble grumble*
#2. i don’t have boxes…and i have a LOT of shit. *sighs* who knew i was such a fucking packrat? okay, well i did, but shutup! and when i’m going through things, i come across shit that belongs to john…and god…i hate this.
#3. the pixies are totally rocking my weekend. like nobody’s business! *bounces booty* i went on a downloading spree and fucking even burned a CD because OMFG i love the pixies. heee! i know, i’m weird, and it’s a phase…i blame gay.com
#4. i’ve been fluxuating on the idea of going out vs. staying in. and honestly, my main motivating factor is whether or not i’d be alone for said going out. the bar is the reason that i ended up so freaking sick & in the hospital…but you know… *shrugs*
#5. i have a fuck load of laundry to do…and am so nowhere near even attempting to do it right now. heh. i can’t just wander around nekkid…but you know…god…so fucking far away…i don’t wanna
#6. this monkey’s gone to heaven….this monkey’s gone to heaven…this monkey’s gone to heaven…
#7. my hair is abyssmal…and atrocious…and like every other disparraging adjective under the sun…grrr…why must it always defy me?!
#8. john started school today…and i can’t help but kinda worry about how everything is going…but then again…i feel so used that i just get angry when i think about it, and ultimate don’t give a fuck like i normally would…ya know?
#9. sobriety is interesting…and not always good, not always bad either. but it’s definitely something i had forgotten, as of late i’m not that fond of it.
#10. something has got to give…
*thinks*
i’m sure i’ll come up with more crap later. brandon was kinda helpful today, but ultimately i felt like shit because even though i know he means well and all, and was just trying to be helpful and “therapizing” *sighs* i felt bad…am i really just this bitchy wench that does nothing but complain? god i hope not…i don’t want him to think that of me…so then i just felt that much more lousy, ya know. blah.
it’s always nice to talk to people…but then i just felt bad…like maybe even though john makes me feel like shit i should never bring it up. and brandon was going off about how i shouldn’t have any contact with john at all because all he does is make me feel like shit…he’s right. but god…sometimes i look at him and still see the boy who used to love me, ya know…
blah.
