w00000000000000000t!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*ahem*
w00t!!!!!!!!!!!
it. cannot. be. contained.
wow…so while i have no recollection whatsoever of what the fuck i did for halloween last year — and i KNOW i was sober then — this one is goin’ down in the books, y’all.
like whoa!
*ahem*
so there was this thingamajig at the roxy with hip hop and whatnot and jetta and i decided it would be lovely to attend. lovely, indeed. and she’d be going as niobe from the matrix because jada needs to be regulated on for tryin’ to jock a style that she just. cannot. handle. ya heard? so jetta gets her costume in order and out of sheer lack of creativity and the fact that i’s a poor pineapple i dig out the red ‘fuck me’ dress from when i went to see common in concert (incidentally, at the roxy as well) and decide ‘a devil would make a nice costume’. he he. oh christ, and when i told my mother what i was gonna be for halloween…sweet jebus.
so my moms called, right? and i was telling her about halloween. and it went down like this:
pineapple: so i got the rest of the stuff i need for my costume
moms: really? what are you gonna be?
pineapple: satan
moms: oh no!!!
pineapple: what? i already have a red dress, and i wasn’t lookin’ to spend money on a costume.
moms: then be a whore!
(i. shit. you. not. she said this)
pineapple: WHAT?!
moms: i’d much rather you be a whore than a devil.[silence]
*ahem*
my mother, ladies and gentlemen…
at least that explains some of what’s wrong with me, right? yeah…i’ll blame it on genetics, that’s what i’ll do…
so ANYWAY, i painted the nails — which i have YET to bite! w00t! — blood red and gathered up the halloweeny goodness. w00t. rockstar called before his classes and i reiterated the ‘my mom wants me to be a whore’ story to him…which spurred on this odd diatribe of rockstar logic that i’ll never be able to decipher completely because he always…ALWAYS backs off and says it’s one of those things that he ‘can’t discuss right now’ because it ‘has to be said face to face’ and ‘we’ll talk soon.’ um…yeah, uh-huh…ok, so like…whatever! douchebag. ANYWAY (again) i finally talk to jetta and we get our plans in order. i knew osh kosh b’joshers was comin’ along but YAY my beautiful, wonderful, fantabulous rosco is coming too!!! oh orgastic joy! i fuckin’ love rosco. w00t! he WAS supposed to go as neo because jetta and i saw a neo costume at oonas the other day when we went out to lunch with her aunt’s sister…who i also love…but they sold out.
then i was talkin’ to rosco earlier and he was stressin’ the costume ish and i was all sad dog cuz i thought he wasn’t going to show. and there’s also the part where i got to the boylston stop way before anyone else and was accosted by random creepy dudes a multiple number of times, got grabbed more than once, froze my ass off and had to sit on the most uncomfortable benches ever much too close to creepy ass boston commons at night…and then finally, FINALLY josh and jetta showed up and then we were all sad dog cuz there was still no word from rosco but then…THEN i’m trying him one. last. time. when we had thunk about getting to the club and *huzzah* he answers!!! i *heart* my rosco to bits. he he…we also enjoy his phone voice. mmmmmmmmm….
so he’s on the T and he’s on his way and we’re thrilled to bits (or at least i am) and decide to go wait right next to the subway exit for him and see a bunch of ‘extra special’ costumes while we wait and can i just say that wtf is up with EVERYONE AND THEIR MOMS dressing like complete and utter sluts for halloween. some of them don’t even try and pull together a costume, they’re all about being as close to nekkid as humanly possible. for the love of bob, people. shit. just leave nothing to the imagination why don’t ya. cripes! that being said, i combined the satan & whore thing and was a rather skanktacular little devil myself. the red ‘fuck me’ dress goes nicely with red fishnets and black knee-high boots. ya-huh. ;)
and finally FINALLY rosco shows up!!! *does magical happy dance of rosco love* w000000000t!!!! and he’s like, the hottest thing ever dressed in all black with his gloves and *growl* chains. i’m not talkin’ like necklaces or anything…oh no…i’m talkin’ like big metal chains that one would use to *ahem* restrain’ something…weeeeeeee!!! so um…since josh in his shiny silver pants thing is jetta’s ‘matrix style minion’, rosco in his hottness of black & chains is my minion. mmmmmmmmmmminions…so. hott.
and we get to the club finally and oh. my. christ. if that line isn’t the longest thing ever and once again ‘HELLO SLUTS!’ christ. i mean, why do people even bother wearing their skimpiest underwear every? why not just troll around nekkid? or with a big sign that says ‘hi! i’m an attention whore! LOOK AT MEEEEE!!!!!!! PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEEEEE!!!!!’ pffffffffffttt!!!!!!!! and after making our way into the decidedly deceptive line…we finally get the eff inside. thank christ! and i got an ‘over 21′ stamp and a bracelet!!! w000t! he he…it takes precious little to amuserate me. ohhhhhhhhh! and we’re inside and we see this HUGE glowy, flashy, movy thing and christ if it isn’t a dude in this monstrosity of a robot costume. hee! so. fuckin’. awesome. oooh and we got pictures with him. heee! fantabulous. utterly fucking fantabulous. and well at first i didn’t check my coat cuz like, hello, don’t wanna fall out of the dress and wasn’t sure how skanktacular i wanted to be and such, but when jetta went to the bathroom i gots myself a jack and coke — oh how i love thee, jack — and split it with rosco. heh. corrupting minors…w00t! and then we went to the dance floor to twerk it and it must be said:
rosco is the dead sexiest little bitch ever. in the history of the world. the end. *giggles* i could eat that boy up with a spoon. rowr, baby.
but eventually because there were so. many. fucking. people. it got hott. the jacket came off and then jetta and i decided to check them. cuz my christ it was hott. and there was so much twerkin’ it goin’ on. and the djs were awesome. and rosco totally rocks my face. like whoa. like more than whoa. and those chains = teh hottness!
we took another small break for drinks and fuck if the roxy doesn’t overcharge for every. fucking. thing. blah. but it was still hella hella hella fun. ooh and later rosco and i danced with the robot dude. mmmmm…and he kissed me. w00t! random crazy robot dude kisses on halloween. ha ha ha. cracktacular!
*sighs*
all the twerkin’ it in the free world…in high-heeled boots mind you, *rawk* talk about a motherfuckin’ workout. i’m sore and tired today, but oh hell was that the funnest shit ever…in the history of the world.
and i had the nicest cab driver ever. we all piled in and he dropped jetta, josh & rosco off in harvard square and drove me on to allston rock city and was wildly amused that he had a little fuzzy angel halo on and i’m sitten there in my devil a la ‘bedazzled’ getup with my horns and such. and he turned the meter off for me. suh-weet!!!!!!
oh hells yeah, happy halloween indeed.
november has thus far, had a wonderful start.
i’m sure something is bound to fuck it the fuck up…f’sho.
*braces self*
