from the spinfo:
scooter: It's time to play Dear FHS!
Come on Spinsters! Lay your questions on me! I will do my best to answer them reasonably, Dear Abby Style!
me: dear scooter,
would it be wise to just harpoon boys through the head, throw a net over them and drag them back to my apt. and shake them saying 'like me, like me you wank!' until they submit?
or should i keep doing just about nothin'?
scooter: dear pineapple,
Yes, harpooning boys would be wise, because then one you get them, they will be dead and thus you wouldn't have to hear their incessant whining.
However, dragging them back to your apt. would be messy. Also, you wouldn't get much booty.
Sometimes a direct approach may work, i.e., talk to said dude in clear and unambiguous terms. If that doesn't work, harpoon him through the head and leave him out by the dumpster for recycling by hoboes.
me:dear scooter,
ever since i spent the night with your mom, i've had this incessant itch. is there a topical cream for that?
scooter: dear pineapple,
I beleve you should address your own mother for this question, since she was the one who started the epidemic.
Sincerely yours,
scooterme: dear scooter,
while we're on the topic of moms ...could you please instruct yours that buttsex is NOT free, and her account is severely delinquent.
scooter: dear pineapple,
Please consult my accountant for these monetary matters. regarding my mom's account, she has FastLane, which is accepted by your mother. Perhaps her FastLane reading equipment is malfunctioning.
Sincerely yours,
Deez Nutz
h.
deez nutz.
