i’ve got my head
but my head is unravelling…
heroine? heroin?
h e r o i n e…yep yep, i starts teh classes tomorrow morning boys and girls. 9 am chem class, yo. eeeeeeeeeeeeeep!!!! we’ll see how that goes. but uh…well…i’m nervous. so nervous.
however, as today is finishing up one of my last weekends of freedom, i gotta say it’s been one hell of a good ride so far. i mean, it’s been filled with send-off drinkies, a totally rockin’ partay complete with a consumers performance to end all performances, the idiocy of me moving ALL MY SHIT in the middle of a torrential downpour, celebrating birthdays, and a formal introduction to Ghost in the Shell.
i’ve got my heart but my heart is no good
and you’re the only one that’s understood
so yeah, had to deal with the financial aid peoples on friday and that was no fun whatsoever. and of course i’ve got the worry and nausea and panicky crap going on because i’m afraid of school stuff being so fucked up. so of course, to destress i went out for drinks with shanikqua (who’s leaving me!), scooter, brandon and clara (who’s back from europe).
then schlepped over to meffid with scooter to watch some mr. show and see the consumers practice before their gig at dana’s bday bash in allston rock city. good times. and i pose to you all this key question, who would you rather fuck, bob odenkirk or david cross? hmmm?
and i want you….
and i want you…
AND I WANT YOU
because scooter thought david cross was teh ghei, but he’s not. in fact, patty assures us that he gets ALL the skanky little emo girl pussy. so who knows…
but i digress, the party was rockin’. the consumers rocked out with their cocks out (collectively). it was a fabulous time. although, i didn’t get home till about 3:30 in the morning and i had to be up early the next day to get to central to get a uhaul so i could move my shit out of storage. and i did, but fuck if i wasn’t tired and miserable…and it was POURING DOWN RAIN THE ENTIRE TIME!!!!! gah. and normally i love rain.
emily (of freshman year) saw me hauling stuff when i was halfway through and offered her help. it was so sweet of her, i think i oughta do somethin’ nice for her…somethin’…don’t know what. but i really appreciated it, and it was great to catch up with her and all that, ya know. i guess i did miss her, and just didn’t realize it.
take me…with you…
take me…with you…
take me…with you…
i had been obsessing all week pretty much since tuesday night, because i *am* a freaking retard, but i calmed myself down a great deal by saturday afternoon and just calmly got ready for heather’s party after i finished hauling everything into my room (WHICH IS STILL FULL OF BOXES!!!). heather lives in porter square just past the shaws so i just walked on over, it wasn’t a bad walk and after the rain all morning/early afternoon it was kinda nice outside. the party was good, i got to see some peeps i missed/hadn’t seen in a while and just chill. and my everything was hurting…so i got to relax.
and it got my mind off of that which i was obsessing over for a considerable amount of time. especially since i was planning on bouncing out of the party early to see the object of my obsession…
without you everthing just falls apart…
so i left the party around 7ish and headed back into harvard square to catch a 66 to allston. and here i was all worried that i would never see allston rock city again, but it turns out between my tenure at BC’s bookstore and other things i’m there a considerable amount. in-ter-esting.
and i get to allston and it’s not raining anymore and so i ring him and be like ‘uh…hi.’ even though we agreed on a set tim and all that…even though blah blah blah blah. and before he had been saying that we’d watch ghost in the shell and then he’d have to skedaddle off to newton because his folks are out of town and he has to feed the cats. but then…but then. it appears they got home earlyish and whatnot and his cat-feeding services were no longer needed.
so i manage to make it to his apt. without getting lost in the dark and am thoroughly rockin’ out to the smashing pumpkins and still mentally obsessing over every.little.thing. when the door opens and apparently he’s all “hi, gary.” and pulls me inside and you know what??
you want to know what’s so fucked up and makes me so silly and stupid and uttery ridiculous?
all of a sudden i wasn’t mad anymore.
it’s not as much fun to pick up the pieces…
