flip flops…there is nothing remotely interesting about these rather crappy and useless “shoes”. in fact, the only use i can think for them is moderate foot protection at the beach and/or in locker room showers. and that’s it.
however, yesterday the boy and i were trapped on the subway from roughly kenmore to allston st. with a pack of what he’s aptly named “flip flop bitches”. now, we had a good day; a lovely day of driving around, harassinating the jetta and swinging (we swang, we swung, we swingded!), right? it was good. and then just resting on the train back to allston it dawns on me that damn near every bitch on the T except for myself and one other girl is wearing flip flops with jeans, and the same fugly ass nail polish (in a shade between pinkish red & magenta) in various stages of chipping off. every god damned one of them. all! i don’t fucking get it. was there some announcement that all girls must wear flip flops — no matter what the weather — with jeans? and the same polish, everywhere? seriously mind boggled, yo. and then, with mounting horror i began to wonder if it was a weird cult thing, as it was reaffirmed just how un-fashionable i am…when they began to do the unthinkable.
they started talking about their fucking flip flops. comparing them, discussing the lining (what.the.fuck!? how in the fuck do flip flops have lining!?) etc. etc. please god kill me now. etc. i mean, how in the hell does anyone come up with anything to say about fucking flip flops for that fucking long?! seriously. is there something fabulously spectacular about them that i’m missing? and who in god’s name thought that they look good with jeans? or anything else, for that matter? if that’s fashionable, then fuck fashion, i’d rather look dopey in my sneakers. flip flops are cheap and uncomfortable, and certainly not an interesting topic of conversation, and i don’t think there’s any amount of alcohol that would make them so.
honestly, i think merely being in the presence of said flip flop bitches with their asinine discussion made me considerably dumber. valuable brain meats were squandered as i tried to maintain tolerance until my stop.
i just don’t fucking get it.
and i hope i never do…
mine :
