heh. the following is an illustration why i don’t put stock into horoscopes…but if i did, these two would be the only that i’d ever be faithful to. for they always make me laugh, this week being no different:
Nerve.com – Horoscopes by Neal Medlyn
Leo (July 22-Aug. 22)
This week, pay a little extra special attention to yourself. Go off into your little cave to rub two sticks together intensely (or rub something intensely, anyway). You should make this more than a week of masturbation, though. Think about treating someone like they’re the lady of the manor and you’re the beleaguered but secretly enthusiastic servant. She calls out to you, “Trevor! Come bathe and perfume me!” or “Trevor! Rub this lotion into your hands and massage me vigorously. You shall do this for hours, Trevor, do you hear me!” Your altruistic attitude will pay off once you return to society.
that *might* apply, if you know, i were a dude…named trevor, i guess…
Severian (August 1-ÂSept 6)
You will be unable to shake a deep feeling of unutterable sadness as you roam the world with a scruffy band of misfits at the end of history, performing the occasional execution in your search for your lost mother/lover and a way to rekindle the dying sun.
whoa, the onion reformatted? wtf?
and thus, these are the best horoscope services in the world. far more accurate than anything else out there. and way less apt to give you nightmares, like that freaky-ass walter mercado “dude/thing”…although, i still love chris rock’s horoscopes for every sign: “you’re gonna die”
