i waited f o r e v e r for the new episodes of the family guy to come out for this season…forever, through reruns and NASCAR and all sorts of other bullshit that no one cares about. and last week: eaten by crazy drunk hobo and commute back to allston. this week: i am at work right now. fucking working. and the gym sucked balls.
fuck
i am full of sacrelicious glee. so full i can hardly contain it!!! w00t! and yay!!!
what is it about three day weekends that rocks my face so hard? is it starting the week with a sexy as hell awesome as fuck NIN concert? is it not working on a friday? is it having a lovely bottle of malibu on hand at all times (with mr. jd thrown in for the brief three-way)? or is it going to the comic book store and scoring not only the newest issue of Battle Pope but UltraChrist! on dvd as well — now for 50% off?!?!?!?!!
fuck yeah, it is. all.of.the.above.
i scored big time yesterday. newest battle pope and a movie of such sacrelicious, deliciously jesus-and-lesbian-filled awesomeness that it definitely gave Jesus Christ Vampire Slayer a run for its money. of course, considering JCVS is pretty much the pinnacle of film greatness and has everything awesome in it you could possibly imagine — except for monkeys and/or midgets because that would probably kill me — no movie will ever be greater than it.
but of course both movies had to be watched yesterday — and inflicted upon others — back to back! and it was awesome. jesus in spandex. jesus fighting kung fu. jesus with a bunch of lesbians! what is it about jesus movies and lesbians? they are always in them. always. and jesus seems to be really down with the lesbians, ya know? i’m thinking he’s just keeping his options open for a three-way. especially since these movies tend to favor the so-called “lipstick lesbians”. jesus is totally probably lookin’ to get in on that action. because you definitely don’t see him going around all: ‘all love is beautiful, in the eyes of the lord’ around a crapload of bull-dyke man-haters, that’s for sure. nor do you see him gleefully looking on while a couple of dudes make out heartily. i’m thinking that’s because jesus does not like the buttsex unless it is with chicks.
still, it’s funny that every movie thus far that involves the awesomeness of jesus christ also includes lesbians. as well as some truly awesome lines.
and while we have yet to stumble across a jesus christ porno — i’m sure it’s out there, and it’s probably terrifying as all hell — these movies have satisfied me beyond belief.
then again, i wonder if you could consider passion of the christ a smut film? because normally, i just think of that as one big pile of vomit.
i waited f o r e v e r for the new episodes of the family guy to come out for this season…forever, through reruns and NASCAR and all sorts of other bullshit that no one cares about. and last week: eaten by crazy drunk hobo and commute back to allston. this week: i am […]
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i am full of sacrelicious glee. so full i can hardly contain it!!! w00t! and yay!!! what is it about three day weekends that rocks my face so hard? is it starting the week with a sexy as hell awesome as fuck NIN concert? is it not working on a friday? is it having a […]
posted in glee, movies | 3 Comments »
