today’s befuddlement:
seriously, what the fuckhell is up with those? i’ve seen them, i know they’re out there, but what the hell? i just don’t quite understand the concept of them. and believe me, i’m all for teh safe sex, seriously. well, ok i’m all for teh sex in general — but safe sex especially. not being disease-ridden or rife with infectious fetuses (fetusi?) is a good thing in my book. it’s just the whole concept of flavored dick covers totally screws with my brainmeats.
i can understand the concepts behind most novelty conomania: colored, glow-in-the-dark(which usually don’t work that well), ribbed, shaped like the pope, made out of dead babies, etc. etc. etc. it’s a novelty thing, for mild amusement and the like. and for the most part, the reasoning behind those specific condom modifications makes some level of sense. kind of…
but flavored condoms…?
quoth the midget:
personally, if you don’t know somebody well enough to suck his dick without a condom, chances are, you shouldn’t be doing it
which is a very, very good point (my midget so smart…). and so, if not for dick sucking, then what are they for? what other application could require that a dude’s junk taste like strawberry-flavored rubber? when would you ever really need a wang to be minty fresh? or reminiscent of a plastic banana — even moreso than with say, a colored condom? i mean, really? and who are they geared to, exactly? is it for the ladies? is it for dudes? the only thing i know is: it is unclear. and thus, i don’t understand it. because who is really going to be like ‘wow, i wonder what that condom tastes like!’? i mean, you know…besides your mom.
and what exactly is used to make these alleged “flavors”? i mean, what if you get a bad batch and suddenly your junk is forever reminiscent of strawberries? how do you cope with that? and what if it transfers? i mean, on the whole, it’s all too mind-boggling to figure out. and really, i can’t imagine who actually invented this shit. i would almost wonder if there exists somewhere out there “dick-flavored” condoms, but really…how would you set the standard for that? cock-flavored, on the other hand, well…it certainly makes for some popular soup!
then again, maybe flavored condoms are specially designed for camping. yeah…maybe that’s it. (either way, i bet a dude invented them)
