times are tough when it’s dangerous to even have a dick these days. or rather, when keeping your junk intact is a mighty feat. dudes everywhere take heed & cup your balls. stash your wang somewhere safe — preferably not inside anything that violently protests — they’re droppin’ like flies around here. guard your crotch & protect your cock, man!
first, i stumble upon this story via ken+ariel. now, i don’t quite understand how giving oneself an extreme circumcision/castration proves fidelity, exactly…i mean, in theory, it could ASSURE continued fidelity from the point of de-wangification on, but anything before said point is up for discussion & deliberation. also, more importantly: EWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!
i don’t even know what the girl equivalent would be, really? sew up your cooter? also…don’t wanna think about that anymore. and what i want to know is, how fucking god damned scary would that dude’s wifey have to be to drive him to hacking off his junk??? i mean, seriously? he must’ve had the fear of unimaginable deaths & maimings driving him to take such extreme measures.
crazy shit, yo.
and then, to top off the evening of “How Wangs Meet Their Tragic Endings”, the midget adds this lovely bit of information:
backstory is, my midget works in a hospital. people go to hospitals for emergencies & the like. injuries, illness, shit like that, right? or you know, they get rushed to the hospital when they are in dire need of a penis re-attachment.
why would a dude’s penis need to be re-attached? well, it’s not as amusing as king missle would have you believe, that’s for damned sure. then again, maybe it is…
emergency penile re-attachment…because the dude in question had managed to sever his junk from his body. completely & in multiple pieces. mutilated wang, yo. additionally, according to the midget, he also managed to shred/sever/maim one of his nuts. the left one, or so i’m told.
no wang, one nut…tragic.
but the best/worst of it all is just how he did it…
with a motherfuckin’ weed eater.
what.the.bloody.fuck?!
i don’t even want to begin to understand the mechanics behind how one does that? and like, where the hell were this dude’s pants?!?!? i mean, did he have someone else hold it and just ram it into his poor, defenseless crotch at full speed? the hell?!
::shudder::
i just don’t know…and maybe that’s for the best.
but, here’s hopin’ the dude didn’t breed beforehand, cuz now chances of him ever siring a spawnling are slim to none; and it’s probably all for the best that someone that would lose their junk to a gardening appliance be removed from the gene pool.
i guess the year of the cock is indeed well & truly over.
In parts of africa, it’s common for a young woman coming of age to have her own clitoris removed.