something has been bugging me a bit about the last battlestar episode. nothing to do with the quality, of course. because it was freaking awesome, and this is quite possibly the best season to date (best.season.premiere.ever!!!). but just…a little something.
i watched last week’s episode again last night — i just had to, ok? — and came to a few realizations that were kind of sludging about since i first saw it. something besides the usual boomer/sharon/eight/whore hatred. which is not to say i don’t still hate her filthy cylon guts…it’s more along the lines of:
i hate her even more now. (and even i didn’t think that was entirely possible)
opening scene: galactica crew edging in through a sea of dead cylon raiders, investigating the abandoned basestar. it’s chaos and confusion and a bit ominous. up until this point the cylons have always been this unconquerable enemy: they have untold numbers, they are powerful, they have innumerous resources, they can never really die, etc.
up until this point they have been untouched by any of the general human ailments & maladies. and now…mysterious death & destruction has afflicted them.
even the boomerwhore is confused, right? cylons dead and dying everywhere, basestar CIC in complete disarray, and no clues as to why or why not. except, except…except for that one little part where the boomerwhore tries to sync up to the cylon computer systems/database. something freaks her out. it’s glossed over in the ensuing commotion of realizing that not all the corpses lying around are actually corpses and whatnot. then there’s the frantic, dying prayers of the cylons and realization that it’s an infection…a deadly infection that has felled them. an infection that the crew has now been exposed to.
and we don’t see everything that goes down between informing galactica and rounding up prisoners and everyone just trying to stay freaking calm under the oppressing cloud of mortality that’s just engulfed them all. they have to be thinking: if that’s what the disease does to the cylons, what is it going to do to me?
but then they’re flying back to galactica, prisoners in tow and damned if the boomerwhore (i will not call her athena. gag.) isn’t looking mighty suspicious. and even MORE suspicious when the ailing basestar “self-destructs” in a fiery explosion. considering the cylons never accounted for a possibility of disease affecting their physiology, is it really that likely that they programmed their basestars to self-destruct in the event of severe decomposition? and why wouldn’t it have happened immediately after a threat was detected, as an act of self-preservation?
except…they probably didn’t set that up because an exploding basestar within resurrection ship-range would cause severe problems in the event of an infection. or even in the event of an invasion, self-destruction would be a good way to get out of a bad situation…but would the resurrection ship be able to handle that? who knows?
super shifty slutwhore, though, being all suspicious makes me think that perhaps in the ensuing confusion and commotion…maybe a certain cylon colonial officer slipped back towards the dataports and sent of a particularly deadly execution packet to whatever was left of the basestar’s operational systems. she certainly didn’t appear as surprised over the exploding basestar as everyone else. also, she is evil and manipulative and a liar. oh, and i hate her. so very much.
i wouldn’t be surprised if she’s got a little bit more of the baltar-esque self-preservation in her now that she’s gotten out of her tiny little cell in the brig. or if she didn’t want the fleet to find out what exactly was happening to the cylons. no matter how many times she’s “walked through hell” for the fleet, or whatever, at the end of the day she is not human. she is not an ally. she is a cylon.
she lied and manipulated her way into helo’s life & his heart & the fleet. she’s toyed with the olmos’s mind so much since the first boomer was shot (yay!) and she slipped into her place. she double-crossed both helo (initially) and then her own “people”. and also: i hate her.
just how close she’s gotten to the olmos is very scary indeed. and i keep waiting for it to backfire on everyone — and the olmos the most — because it most definitely will. and that is going to be a very bad scene. and most likely it’s going to involve her half-breed crotch-dropping, because i’m sure they’ll get it back from the crazy three sooner or later.
additionally, i do not like what she’s doing to helo. because he’s going just a bit crazy overboard at this point. and while i’m happy that the president laid the smack-down on him for being so mis-informed and glib about the occupation, i worry he’s going to do something even more stupid than all he’s already done: banging a cylon, knocking up a cylon, marrying a cylon! ew.
i don’t know the rights & wrongs of using biological weaponry is quite applicable for galactica & the fleet because they would not be having that argument or those reservations at all if the cylons still looked like the centurion models. they wouldn’t have even hesitated an instant before sending out infectious downloads straight to the resurrection ship! of course, then the show would be over, pretty much, and that would suck. that is the only reason to not do it — pre-empting the end of the most awesome show on television ever.
all that genocide & ‘oh noes our souls!’ & morality bullshit is just that: bullshit. even, and i hate to say this, even on the olmos’s part. and it is so rare that i agree with appollo’s anything but he was probably the most rational, honest character in the whole episode. sad. i do love that for once roslin is showing she’s of much sterner stuff and putting her foot down. she’s taking the bottom line and keeping her eyes on the real, true threat to the fleet. life is going to be hard to eke out in the void of space even without a tireless enemy ruthlessly pursing them every step of the way.
the olmos & roslin are all about fighting to survive, to ensure the future safety of humanity…to live. but there are just too many questions and hesitations and agonizing over morality and such. it’s do or do not, fuck all that try bullshit.
bullshit that would not be a factor if the cylons were all entirely metal still.
they can analyze the hell out of it later, but the entire fleet (civillian & officers alike) is operating on borrowed time. they have been since the first attack way back in the miniseries!
and helo…what is happening to helo? has he got some sort of cylon std brain rot now? because christ knows that that’s certainly what has been eating the hell out of baltar’s brainmeats, cuz that mofo is completely & totally batshit CRAZY. and here i was thinking he couldn’t get any crazier…
but helo, he’s letting his “bias” cloud his judgement BIG TIME. and that cannot happen. furthermore, it is entirely the boomerwhore’s fault. she has totally eaten his brainmeats. because he may actually love her, and he may have compartmentalized his feelings on what’s a machine and what’s not with respect to their ‘relationship’, but fuck man. he’s not thinking clearly at all.
because when the chips were down, and everything looked just too bleak, the boomerwhore gave up on helo. she gave up on them. and she took out everything on his poor, unsuspecting ass. but he is, of course, a nice guy. and i think that’s why i’ve always loved him so. he’s just so nice…and good…and the perfect best friend. he will always be there for you. and frankly, he deserves much better than what he gets from his ho.
however, what he did put galactica — and the entire fleet — in serious danger. and it’s even more insane because his ho did not want him to do anything anyway. and all that crap about how she’s “a cylon who keeps [its] word”? fuck that. she turned her back on her own cylon people way back when, she turned her back on helo & the fleet in the season 2 end/finale, and now she’s turned her back on her whole ‘race’. good job keeping your word, whore. but whatever…
galactica is in majorly bad shape after the exodus, and the entire fleet depends on it for protection and survival. if they hadn’t have realized that the infected prisoners were toast (no pun intended) as quickly as they did, they could’ve taken quite a lot more substantial fire. the FTL drives could’ve been damaged even more. pilots could’ve been killed. fighter planes lost. irreparable damages accrued. just, it could’ve been such a bad scene all around.
yet helo put pretty much the entire fate of humanity in geopardy so he could feel better about himself and his notions of right & wrong? and that’s just…that’s so wrong…
because it’s not his call to do such a thing, and he’s not the person who has a right to put so manly lives in danger like that. in fact, no one is! furthermore, you totally know that roslin was all excited about a new and interesting way to airlock people and he totally stopped her. and you do not want to get in between roslin and her airlockin’, that’s for damned sure. then again, he has never really had a good rapport with her. but i wouldn’t put it past her to add poor, stupid helo onto her “To Be Airlocked” list.
alas…
i really do love helo, but i think he did the dumbest thing ever (even if it does keep the show running) and i hope he gets his senses back soon.
but knowin battlestar galactica, the crazy is only just beginning. just hopefully with less cylon-imaginary cylon-torture-threesome kinkery.
