- Let’s talk about holidays…
- Which of the holidays that you celebrate, do you feel is the most important?
i tend to really like easter lots. the day of the zombie jesus lord is an important day, personally, and it’s the only holiday that doesn’t feel so commercially-driven to me anymore. also, it gives me a lot of time to think. i don’t necessarily go by the secular aspect of easter anyway. - Which holiday do you most enjoy?
talk like a pirate day, halloween, easter, no pants day, pi day. - Is there one holiday that your family tries to get together every year? If so, which one?
we get together at christmas, because i have to. it used to be an ok thing, but anymore it’s just stressful & overwhelming. it’s not the same without my gram around anymore…so the winter holidays are always a bit heartbreaking anyway. - Share one special memory from a past holiday.
i dunno, i’m drawing a blank right now. christmas when i was little was ok, even thanksgivings were fun. i always liked st. patrick’s day when i was a little kid because every year my gram gave me a pot of fresh clover to grow, and some of them were the 4-leaf kind. it was always so neat & i love clover. - Name one holiday coming up, that you’re really looking forward to, and why.
pi day. because there will be lots and lots of pie. and also because i will hopefully be making pie from my very own kitchen — where the only mess i’ll have to clean will be my own.
(source: monday madness)
the holidays are closing in so quickly i can’t even see straight anymore. i have preliminary christmas gift lists done but am also under mountains of stress & running out of time. and ultimately, being more always makes me feel shitty at christmas because i’d like to get people i love nice things but usually end up having to compromise and scrimp and be like: “hi, sorry i’m a poor jackass, merry christmas.”
that and knowing i’m not entirely welcome back in colorado isn’t that great a thought. it’s just more stress to deal with. i can’t get out of going home for christmas and i don’t necesarily want to get out of it, and i feel guilty for weighing the stress & cost & emotional baggage of it all against my need to see my daddy and my brother and my friends…it’s just a shitty situation all around.
plus, everything is closing in on me so fast i don’t even have a moment to catch my footing, really. it’s frustrating and a little bit more than scary. i’m like, 100% completely lost.
and like i said, i had a mostly decent weekend. a lovely weekend, actually. if i could just get in the frame of mind to think of it as such all would be well. but honestly, seriously, sometime around 2:00 saturday afternoon i just wanted to totally and completely give up. entirely. and it just snowballed and got worse and worse all afternoon and into the evening. crippling, frustrating, call-consuming despondency. i hate that feeling, but it was just so strong all i wanted to do was sit in a corner and give up…on everything.
i haven’t quite kicked that feeling yet, either. and i don’t really know what i can do to alleviate it or how i can manage the time to figure it out anyway. i’m just a nervous, twitchy mess about 75% of the day.
and thinking about it right now is just making it feel that much worse so…
i’m out.
