this could be just because i’m having a totally bullshit day.
| Disorder | Rating |
| Paranoid Disorder: | Moderate |
| Schizoid Disorder: | Low |
| Schizotypal Disorder: | Low |
| Antisocial Disorder: | Moderate |
| Borderline Disorder: | Moderate |
| Histrionic Disorder: | Low |
| Narcissistic Disorder: | Low |
| Avoidant Disorder: | Moderate |
| Dependent Disorder: | Moderate |
| Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder: | High |
— Personality Disorder Test – Take It! — — Personality Disorders — |
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mehz0rz.
so i put on a super kicky outfit with stompin’ boots ready to take on the day. also: i did my hair so that it’s not just a pile of ass on my head.
then i realized that both my umbrella & wellies are unfortunately residing in my car, which is so totally not close to my apartment. so fucking not close to my apartment — but rather is safe and secure in my rented lot spot. fuck fuck fuck. i made due with heavy winter coat (which is suede, fuck!) and my grandpa hat which was a great help to keeping my head/face dry. and for a while it was ok. minimal water got in through my boot zippers and i was doing ok.
until the wind kicked up. then my arms and hands and sleeves got drenched trying to keep my hat on. seriously, the hat is the only thing that saved me. but because of the ice/hail/slush storms we’ve had recently, the warm weather and rain has done nothing but make everything ONE GIANT FUCKING PUDDLE on the sidewalks and curbs. the walk to my precious car was utterly treacherous.
then i get to the car, which is up to it’s fucking top rim of the hubcaps in water. the entire fucking lot was ONE GIANT FUCKING PUDDLE, no scratch that, it was a god damned LAKE. fucking fuck! i had no choice but to slog through it, and nothing is more disheartening than that first step into pure bullshit. water up past my ankles, almost to mid-calf…seeping into my shoes until i was completely submerged.
fucking FUCK.
winter coat: soaked to all hell
grandpa hat: fucking drenched
boots: completely saturated
pineapple: totally fucking hating the weather
i like the rain usually, i do. but not the windy, rainy, icy, impeding-my-commute-to-work/soaking-my-everything rain. fuck that. fuck it so hard.
it is ridiculous over-priced, but totally awesome.
i am mopey because my shoes are broken. and even mopier because i found the absolute perfect replacement — the cherriest of shoes — but am poor until next week.
rat dicks.
since the move i’ve been taking the T to work again, and thus have struck up my vicious feud with the MBTA. getting to work on time is a fucking ordeal, and once it warms up i’m just walking my happy ass down to the bus or something because seriously, seriously fuck the T. fuck the green line, fuck the schedules, fuck the conductors, fuck the red line, fuck the trains, fuck.it.all.
fuck it.
oh, and i’m being re-acquainted with the extra special brand of people that crowd the B-line every morning. which, the boy is right, it’s not as bad as the D-line or any of the orange line trains — those have the market on sketchy freak-ass weirdos completely cornered. but, at least on the bus there’s only a few people you have to contend with. on the train, having to ride multiple trains to work, you come in contact with a whole lot more specialness. and a whole lot more douchebaggery. the people who don’t let you off the train when it’s your fucking stop, then act all put out because you dare to get past them…these are the same kinds of people that double-park in the middle of a narrow, one-way, ice-covered street as if it’s no big deal. fuckers.
today’s trip included some extra specialness that i’m sure i could’ve done without. from the boy with too much hair product, a red & gold adidas jacket, and (get this) white glasses frames — that’s right, just the frames, no lenses, not real glasses! — frontin’ like he owned the damn train. to the woman who most likely had some sort of growth trying to eat its way out of her stomach. to the endless hos tramping around on the train in jeans so low they might as well be denim legwarmers and motherfucking stilettos — in winter, in the slush, wtf?! i do not miss the train one bit.
i relish the fact that i’ll be within the confines & comfort of my own beautiful car tomorrow as i go to & from work. really, it’s the kind of peace and quiet i need. solitude and freedom. even if it is for a simple 10 minute break each way.
it is well worth it.
