my eyeballs are burning out of their sockets in protest to the start of another week. at least, that’s what i’m telling myself anyway. though fairly soon i’m going to be just clawing out my own damn eyeballs…which is fine, i never liked my eyes much anyway.
today is distinctly a complete “meh” day. after what has been a completely meh couple of weeks. in fact, now that i think of it, the whole of june has pretty much sucked up one side and down the other.
i’ve been feeling off and out of sorts for a while now too. between work and life and everything all i know for certain is that the answer is not, in fact, 42. at least not now, not for this girl.
suffocating and restricted.
that’s how i feel right now. trapped, burdened, held down & held back. by…so many things at once that i wouldn’t even know where to begin to successfully extract myself. i’m slowly drowning in the world around me…all i want is a fuckin’ life vest or something.
everything i do and everything i try is wrong. (why do i even bother?)
i made an attempt to get out and do something, anything this weekend and it blew up in my face. miss-communications plus bad attitudes equals sucking at life. i tried to do something nice for someone and it blew up in my face. note to self: never offer strangers a ride again, it’s just not going to work out well.
on the plus side, the guys in roadsteamer are all super sweet and nice. and i got out of the house and enjoyed some sunshine and quality road time. so there is that. but there’s also strange lady being pissy at me about stuff that wasn’t even under my control and demanding of my time and efforts. there’s the boy hating every minute of everything saturday and sulking, which meant there was no fun to be had by anyone anyway. just…all so fucking wrong.
and now, i have an extra ticket for the show this saturday…which, previously i had had been really, really excited about. now…not so much.
this whole week is going to be one giant let down, i think. if the past few are any indication, definitely. who knows, maybe the other knee will randomly give out on me, that’d be awesome…only…not.
i don’t know what is going to lift this cloud of meh right now, but i’m too busy to figure it out at the moment anyway.
and, as is my duty:
i’m excited about the show even if no one else i know is. in fact, everyone else can eat a fat dick.
in a blaze of glory
