“I’m just a fucked up girl looking for my own piece of mind.”
— clementine
i can’t remember where or how it started.
c o n t r a d i c t i o n
not exactly, not entirely…vaguely. sometimes it all feels new, everything a mystery all over again — a puzzle with pieces i’ve never seen before. sometimes it feels like snuggling down in a quilt of comfort forever — everything familiar and warm and love. at the end of the day, at the end of any day, the only thing that remains is you.
there was a before, of course — there always is. the before doesn’t really feel all that long ago, but in a lot of ways it does. there’s a completely different version of me now than before. this version tries very hard not to compare any of the now to the before. then again, it’s not really that hard to do, doesn’t take a lot to try…you make it pretty easy by being something completely different.
and i like that.
for some good reasons and some not so good ones, i like that. i wouldn’t have it any other way. maybe it’s just because i have my own set of issues/quirks/freakouts/etc. but i like that you know me just by looking at me, but you don’t know every shade of who i am from being here since the beginning of me. you don’t know the awkward grade school version, and you don’t know the jr. high version, and you don’t know the basketball version, and you don’t know the high school version, and you don’t know the summer in the country version, you don’t know the naive freshman version, you don’t know the reckless version…you don’t know…
mine :
