i have only just begun to prepare for summer and then i realize it’s totally already waning. the hell?
that’s so depressing.
what is happening to my summer?
and for that matter, what is happening to my life?
mine :
b.l.o.g.
category : daily grind, mehz0rz
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mine :
mine :
category : filler, movies
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mine :
A LETTER TO OPTIMUS PRIME FROM HIS GEICO AUTO INSURANCE AGENT.
BY JOHN FRANK WEAVER
– – – –
Dear Mr. Prime,
We have received your accident-claim reports for the month of June—they total 27. I regret to inform you that GEICO will not be able to reimburse you for any of those repairs. I feel that I have sent the same letter to you once a month for the last six months, and I am now sending it again.
Since becoming a GEICO customer in January of this year, you have reported 131 accidents, requesting reimbursement for repairs necessitated by each one. You have claimed not to be responsible in any of them, usually listing the cause of the accident as either “Sneak attack by Decepticons” or “Unavoidable damage caused by protecting freedom for all sentient beings.”
The only repairs for which you were reimbursed were the replacement of a cracked fender and a headlight, required after a Mr. I. Ron Hide backed his van into your truck; these cost $1,286.63. Our own investigation concluded that you were not at fault and that Mr. Hide had been drinking prior to the accident. Though police were unable to test his blood-alcohol level—Mr. Hide claimed that it would be impossible for police to examine his blood-alcohol content with a Breathalyzer, because he “doesn’t breathe”—under Washington-state law, refusal to take a Breathalyzer test is equivalent to returning a result above the legal level.
But, I repeat, those were the only repairs for which you have been reimbursed, and it was a very minor accident in comparison to your other claims. I mention a few to illustrate the larger trend:
- $379,431.34 requested reimbursement for repairs to your truck cabin. You claimed the damage was caused by attacking fighter jets.
- $665,789.11 requested reimbursement for repairs to your trailer. You claimed the damage was caused by a giant mechanical scorpion, which I can only assume is some amusement-park ride, although I question the wisdom of bringing your mobile home so close to such dangerous equipment.
- $6,564,239.44 requested reimbursement for repairs to a truck part called the “Autobot Matrix of Leadership.” You stated this occurred in “an ultimate confrontation between good and evil,” with a Ms. Meg Atron and a Mr. U. Nicron causing the damage in question. Mr. Prime, I have checked every known car- and truck-part catalog published in the United States and have found nothing even resembling that part, never mind any part so expensive. Whatever disagreements you had with Ms. Atron and Mr. Nicron, I suggest that next time you either settle things peaceably or leave your Autobot Matrix of Leadership at home so it doesn’t break. GEICO does not cover Autobot Matrix of Leaderships.
And the list goes on. Mr. Prime, I am going to remind you again: Your policy with GEICO only reimburses you for accidents that occur while you are engaged in the reasonable use of your truck and trailer. As I told you when you originally purchased the policy, GEICO does not offer Megatron coverage, Starscream coverage, Soundwave coverage, Decepticon coverage, or Energon-blast coverage. Those are just not the types of damages we would expect from reasonable use.
To sum up, GEICO has been unable to reimburse you for any repairs, but due to the high number of accidents you have been a party to this month, combined with the many accidents you have had in the preceding five months, your premium has increased to $235,567.50 per month. While that may seem like a lot, I remind you that it is a savings of $137 over Progressive and $98 over State Farm. Please have your check into our main office by the end of July.
Regards,
Simon Furman
GEICO Agent
mine :
category : daily grind, filler, mehz0rz, music
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mine :
i am completely lacking any kind of motivation… but this is important, so here i shall re-post:
Body: This is a re-repost from Michelle and Erin at NE Comics,
Body: i’m repostin’ this on behalf of mr butch’s family and close friends Tony,Sue,and Brook. this a post From Erin:
****************************************************
A short service for Mr. Butch will be taking place at the ICC church in Allston (near the Merwin Animal clinic on Cambridge St.) next Sunday, July 22 at 8pm. The pastor from the ICC will be speaking along with Reverend Hank who some of you may know from years and years in the scene and such. Please keep in mind that Mr. Butch’s family will be there and this will be in the church so we need to be cool.Prior to the service or possibly post service a big old funeral processional will be taking place starting at Comm. Ave and Harvard and continueing down to Brighton Ave and stopping where Mr. Butch died. Music, pictures, good times and the sprinkling of his ashes will be taking place.
There is planning being done right now involving local eateries/bars providing places for people to congregate following the parade. More details will follow shortly. Right now I know Pizzaria Uno has donated the use of their basement room and food for a wake type gathering on that Sunday.
Reagarding donations-Please drop off any monetary donations at Ritual Arts. Cash works best, but if you use a money order or check, please make it out to Brook Corey and then in the memo write Mr. Butch Memorial Fund. You can also drop off donations at the my store, New England Comics and various other places around the neighborhood. As you may know funerals and all are wicked expensive so this will go to cover the costs. The rest will go to help his family and then anymore will go towards his memorial plaque that Marty’s is putting up.
Call me with questions…617-783-1848 or swing by the store.
Much love to you and yours. Hug someone you’d miss.
Erin
Please repost or spread the word
it seems wrong to follow it with filler, huh? my head hurts…
Read the rest of this entry »
mine :
d.u.m.p.s.t.e.r.
archive for July 16th, 2007
where has the summer gone?
Monday, July 16th, 2007i have only just begun to prepare for summer and then i realize it’s totally already waning. the hell? that’s so depressing. what is happening to my summer? and for that matter, what is happening to my life?
posted in daily grind, mehz0rz | No Comments »
too bad the movie was destined to be an unholy pile of horse shit
Monday, July 16th, 2007A LETTER TO OPTIMUS PRIME FROM HIS GEICO AUTO INSURANCE AGENT. BY JOHN FRANK WEAVER – – – – Dear Mr. Prime, We have received your accident-claim reports for the month of June—they total 27. I regret to inform you that GEICO will not be able to reimburse you for any of those repairs. I […]
posted in filler, movies | No Comments »
dis-trac-ting
Monday, July 16th, 2007i am completely lacking any kind of motivation… but this is important, so here i shall re-post: Body: This is a re-repost from Michelle and Erin at NE Comics, Body: i’m repostin’ this on behalf of mr butch’s family and close friends Tony,Sue,and Brook. this a post From Erin: **************************************************** A short service for Mr. […]
posted in daily grind, filler, mehz0rz, music | No Comments »
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Monday, July 16th, 2007There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
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