For everything there is a season,
And a time for every matter under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to seek, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to throw away;
A time to tear, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate,
A time for war, and a time for peace.
—Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
usually, round this time in january i’m so overcome with…remembering… that today and tomorrow are bleak and muddled. hazy days of everything i’ve lost.
now…it’s layered over fresh pain. so new and raw that i almost didn’t realize…it’s been six years since she’s been gone. how horrible to actually realize it. six years, and i still miss her so much it physically hurts…
only now, now it’s layered over fresh loss. made that much worse by the knowledge that six years has not dulled the original pain one single bit. six years ago i thought nothing would ever hurt as bad as losing her…i had no idea. and what exactly does that leave me with?
just the cruel force of time eating away at memories i cherish, making it hurt that much more to remember how much i miss them both.
