ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTBAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLL!??!?!
ahem.
yes, yes, it’s that time of year again boys and girls: superbowl fuckin’ sunday.
truly the one and only real american holiday. it has all the basic tenets of bein’ an american in one spectaculagganza: rampant consumerism, thinly veiled sexual exploitation, homoerotic competition, over-exaggerated brawn & prowess, media propaganda and good ol’ american sportsmanship. can you smell it? can you? it smells like freedom.
team america, FUCK YEAH!
but you know what? i don’t care. sure the ads are a ridiculous ploy to warp the minds of the american consumer; and of course far too much totally unhealthy food is consumed by the masses; and obviously it’s not really a world championship…but when you strip away all that bullshit what you have left is football.
football, ladies and gentlemen, that wonderful past-time of full-contact, no-holds-barred, totally exhilarating competition. and of course, i’d be lying if i said i wasn’t disappointed that my boys in silver & black aren’t playing this year…but they have had their years, and they will have them again. i have no love for either team competing, but that does not dissuade from my love of the game. a whole season boils down to this one pivotal moment…for every team.
it’s an unspoken holiday, superbowl sunday is. and i fully intend to celebrate: beers are in the fridge, bbq pork is simmering in deliciousness, chips & dips are being prepared. it is a good thing.
the only thing that will top off the day is if tom brady comes down with an explosive case of herpes. but, in the event that doesn’t happen, i’ll settle for a giants win (the ny giants? wtf? who expected that?!). superbowls lose their luster when there isn’t a team you’re even vaguely interested in playing…but, i have a tendency to vote for the underdog so:
