Umi Says (cover) from pineapple on Vimeo
possibly the best weekend ever…
mine :
category : glee, music
comments : nada mucho
mine :
mine :
category : music
comments : nada mucho
mine :
i hope…
at least we’ll see some quality music tomorrow night.
oye como va!
mine :
category : ::sob::, mehz0rz
comments : nada mucho
mine :
today i feel hazy around the edges…unclear. insubstantial. i should have stayed in bed. i feel as if at any moment everything will just disappear…i will disappear.
in the middle of the night i woke up to find myself crying…a quieter imitation of the gut-wrenching sobs my dreams were full of. most.wretched.dreams.ever. the most disturbing fact being: i never dream. never. and if i do, i never have to remember it. but i do…i do remember it all. so awful it woke me up, and i’m such a deep sleeper it’s ridiculous.
loss…loss and more loss, everything tinged with it. swamped in it, so much i can’t think i can’t see i can’t breathe. and sorrow and sorrow and more sorrow and desespere y más desesperación.
i cannot concentrate, i’m overwhelmed and it’s taking every ounce of my willpower to just hold it together. usually i can keep moments like this contained, or hidden, can compartmentalize it until the time is convenient. though, that is not entirely true…it is never convenient.
everyone always talks about “the five stages” and i can’t help but feel that it’s a complete farce. there’s nothing and nothing and more nothing but emptiness and sorrow. a feeling of hollowness…
and i can’t stop any of this…
mine :
category : teh wurld
comments : nada mucho
mine :
this story makes me feel ever more justified in my resolve to never, never, never, ever, ever, ever, EVER (a thousand million times never) have children. now, i have had plenty of teachers that i’m not entirely fond of…but even at my most vindictive am no where this calculating and malicious. at least, not at 8-or-9-freaking-years-old i wasn’t!
anyone who tries to change my mind by playing up the innocence and joy of having a child can just suck it dry right now. these kids were meticulous and full of ill-will. they were not innocent little lambs, and hell, they were organized into a large group of would-be murderers. each with his or her own devious task!
sometimes i find myself undermining the power and will of children — which, as a child myself, was something i hated adults for doing to me — but these days, not so much. ineffectual, uninvolved parenting and a culture hellbent on spending more energy finding a halfway-decent scapegoat over any smidgen of self-awareness or accountability is breeding a society of truly disturbing individuals.
mine :
