here’s a little sample of my day:
- 5:00 am-ish: motherfucking car alarm starts BLARING somewhere on allston street, am woken up & furious. fall grudgingly asleep.
- 5:35 am: kitties go apeshit, try to ignore them. FAIL.
- 6:00 am: alarm goes off, cringe, subdue bladder into silence, try to sleep more.
- 6:15 am: alarm goes off again…twitch and cringe, and curse all that is fucking jury duty.
- 7:10 am: standing on allston st. sleepy, too fucking humid, hating the world and waiting for the T.
- 7:20 am: subway comes to a halt on harvard ave, people start pouring into the streets. a 57 goes wildly careening down the 66 path. w.t.f.?
- 7:35 am: make it to packard’s corner. apparently ALL HELL HAS BROKEN LOOSE. curse the world, curse boston, curse jury duty.
- 7:40 am: try to call suffolk fucking superior fucking court, FAIL. curse the mofos that have fucked up my god damned day.
- 8:00 am: manage to get on a maddeningly slow as fuck train towards kenmore.
- 8:10 am: forced off train in order to switch to even slower train.
- 8:39 am: crawl into suffolk fucking superior fucking court. scowl at metal detectors. tramp down burning fucking rage and trudge to “jury pool”. hate the world.
- 10:35 am: we’re given a “break”. then annoying ladyjudge comes in and talks about how much she’s in fucking love with jury duty and wants to gay marry it and have 50 million of its babies. i lose consciousness.
- 12:15 pm: am woken up & called into courtroom with approx. 45 other hapless fucks. dirty old man keeps putting his arm around me on the UNCOMFORTABLE wooden benches they’ve crammed us into. HATE!
- 12:35 pm: “excused” but not dismissed from cramped, ugly as sin courtroom.
- 12:50 pm: given another “5-minute break”. jury organizers FAIL. everyone is dismissed.
- 12:58 pm: run out of the court, spot the boy on the street. collapse. full of hatred for teh world (also, he got into boston without ANY subway troubles…grrrrrrrr!)
- 1:15 pm: trudge into the office, it is too humid everywhere.
- 1:16 pm: sniff lilacs on desk.
- 1:20 pm: try to be helpful to epic douchebags, try to control burning rage, FAIL.
- 2:15 pm: confer with other coworkers over how much a douchebag mr. epic
douchebag is. feel better. - 2:30 pm: submerge face in lilacs on desk.
- 2:59 pm: stupid motherfuckers come in my office and ask for unemployment. there has been NO unemployment office in central square for over 10 fucking years. hate.people.
god i have never needed a drink more than i do right.fucking.now.
also, behold some of the insanity i witnessed first-hand while frantically trying to make it to fucking jury duty:
