According to a report published Monday in The Journal Of Gender Studies, many American women are bucking centuries of traditional gender roles by placing stunted, emotionally unfulfilling relationships on hold in order to pursue mind-numbing careers devoid of any upward mobility.(via the onion)
this would be somewhat funny if it weren’t so absolutely fucking true. i’ve already had the emotionally-crippling, going-nowhere, doomed-from-the-start, waste-of-time, completely-unfulfilling relationship. been there, done that, got the shitty t-shirt. it would only make sense that the next step would be to switch from useless, energy-draining, unsatisfactory boys to useless, energy-draining, unsatisfactory jobs. i mean, at least you get money out of the latter without feeling like a total whore, right?
i realize that the onion — while unspeakably funny at time — is merely satire and should be taken with a grain of salt (obviously). however! things can be funny-ha-ha or they can be unfortunately funny-because-it’s-true. and by “funny” i mean “depressing”. ha ha!
because there’s something particularly soul-crushing about realizing you’re wasting away your time, your health, your productivity, your fucking life at a thankless job where it wouldn’t really matter if you showed up or not. at least you can argue with a shiftless, neglectful, dumbass boyfriend…trying to vent frustrations about work or even address them is an exercise in futility.
somehow, a handful of people make it to the upper echelon where maybe they still have particularly mind-numbing jobs but at least they are compensated enough for it that it balances out. or at the very least, the compensation far outweighs any irritation at a stagnant position. i mean, donald trump doesn’t seem so upset about his boring, permanent douchebag position. cuz you know he can afford it.
but when you’re paid dick on a stick and still languishing unappreciated and ignored and then realize you have a “job” not a “career”…well, a bottle of codeine and a fifth of whiskey don’t seem like such a bad way to spend the comaday.
“Technical and repair professions with zero prospects for advancement are no longer viewed solely as the realm of males,” Detweiller said. “Women have proved that they are just as adept as men at frittering their lives away in soul-crushing vocations.”
unless you read that quote and think: “it’s like they’re writing about me!”
then you have to console yourself with a paltry “at least i don’t have a shitty job and a shitty boyfriend…” woo! go me!
