pineapple: the only benefit of my big stupid breakup was the whiskey/cigarettes/stay up all night diet
midget: i know. i got teeny after the breakup
pineapple: i would stay out all night drinking
midget: alcohol and nicotine is great
pineapple: smoking
midget: no eating
pineapple: take a bus home, shower, go to the gym at 6 am, work out, shower, go to work, go right back to the bar
midget: i know, i miss those days
pineapple: guinness = dinner
pineapple: i was miserable, but had tinier clothes and a smaller ass
pineapple: oh, and a waist
midget: my boobs, waist, and ass weren’t the same size there was definition at one point i swear there was
pineapple: why can’t i be happy*, and not fat?
maybe the boy and i can stage a fake breakup, but not tell anyone but my ass. that way i can trick it into thinking i’m so heartbroken and nothing in the world tastes better than whiskey and tears. and marlboro lights.
le sigh.
*Note: i actually am, very happy
