[background: at 1:59 pm EST i received an email from harvard requesting money “Under Harvard’s low- and middle-income initiatives, the family tuition contribution for more than 3,000 undergraduates is now at or below tuition levels of the top twenty U.S. state schools, as identified through US News and World Report. This is your Harvard. This is the impact of your gift.“, which i PROMPTLY DELETED IN A FIT OF RAGE…]
then this happened…
random dude: i’m [redacted], a sophomore at harvard calling on behalf of the harvard college fund. i’d like to speak to ms. [mangling my lass name]
me: that’s kind of me.
harvard asshat: did i get it right?
me: not even close
harvard asshat: oh. well…we at the harvard collge fund would like to thank you for your recent donation and would like to ask if you would be willing to continue giving.
me: i have never donated money.
harvard asshat: oh, well would you like to start?
me: not even a little bit.
harvard asshat: even a donation as little as $10 can encourage our big givers to donate more.
me: …
harvard asshat: [blah blah blah blah, i don’t even really know wtf he’s saying as the boiling, stabbity rage slowly fills me up to the eyeballs]
me: i’m not interested. at. all.
harvard asshat: we’d really like to convince you to start donating blah blah blah
me: look, i didn’t get one single cent of help when i went so i am most definitely not going to add a single cent to your coffers. unless you count the thousands of dollars and cents i’ve paid the harvard student loan dept.
*click*
