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category : amuserings & musings, daily grind, mehz0rz, movies
comments : nada mucho
mine :
today, the goal was to get up early, get out of the house and get things done BEFORE our standard time of rolling out of the house at damn near 5 o’clock.
we went to bed at a decent time, we got up and got ready, and actually made it out of the house.
the pros: we saw sucker punch, we ate tasty mexican food, i got motherfuckin’ starbucks & the boy got $3 pants (sketch!)
the cons: MOTHERFUCKING EV-ER-Y-THING! forgot my wallet, everyone was a cocksucker, no store had the dish drainer tray we need, we were surrounded by mutant freak motherfuckers, forgot some stuff at the grocery store, i was going to cut a bitch, every fucking thing was WRONG.
ugh.
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category : daily grind, mehz0rz
comments : nada mucho
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i just spent FOREVER working on a problem set for school that i thought was due by midnight (MT) today.
it’s not.
it’s due sunday.
i have completely effed my own brain on scheduling and schoolwork. fuck!
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category : mehz0rz
comments : nada mucho
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mother of god, but that was the WORST.
absolute worst.
like the entirety of the world was just conspiring against me. to make everything SUCK. and yes, ok we did see robby and that was great, but god damn. also: saturday was entirely slept away. wtf? i’m sick of this randomly passing out bullshit. passing out and then waking up with hours gone? how does that even help anything?
i don’t feel rested. most times i feel super nauseous and cheated out of my fucking days. ugh.
so dreadful. i can’t even really deal with today either, super nauseous.
fuck this.
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category : bitchery, mehz0rz
comments : nada mucho
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this is going to go down in history as the worst fucking day ever. and about the only upside is in a little bit i’m going to a show at great scott’s, but even more so than that: i didn’t fucking get frost bite this afternoon trudging out into the crap pile that is allston in the winter.
ugh.
everything about today sucks and all i want to do is DESTROY THE WORLD. or, you know, roll in a ball in the dark and practice my ugly cry face.
fuck
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category : mehz0rz
comments : nada mucho
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since about august of 2009, roughly, i’ve managed to drop about 26-28 lbs. about 5-7 of that was in the immediate last 6 months (the bulk of that was definitely between october 2009 and august 2010). on the one hand, this is a good thing for a bunch of reasons. health, well-being, peace of mind or whatever. obviously, when you’re weighing less you feel better.
of course, it’s uber gross that i had that much weight to lose in the first place. and also, despite everything, you can’t really tell (this really, REALLY gets to me. half the time i can’t even really tell, but no one else can either…fuuuuuuuck). there are things i couldn’t really comfortably wear before that fit fine now. a lot of stuff is too loose, but it definitely hasn’t been some earth-shattering occurrence.
with work/life stress getting under control (kinda), i’m trying to be more active. i know i have to change my eating habits considerably, but even more than that i need to develop eating habits. years of working at a completely chaotic job with no structure whatsoever left me with a completely fucked up food schedule and has probably fried my metabolism to toast. gotta work on that…
the past few months (which, include the “holiday season” and all the dietary fuckery that entails) i’ve hovered around +/-3 lbs. it’s annoying. i can eat and lose weight, i can not eat and gain. i can work out and nothing really happens. or i can sleep through the gym for 2 weeks and drop 3 lbs. there seems to be no rhyme or reason. this bugs me for two reasons: 1.) all my progress was entirely stress-related starvation and i’m totally going to balloon up like a big ol’ manatee in the next couple of months or 2.) i’ve hit some sort of unfortunate plateau that’s going to take a gargantuan effort to jump start and get over.
neither of these are particularly appealing right now.
and, of course, spring + summer is right around the corner and the heat/humidity + size of my ass is really not forgiving when it comes to what to wear (or, more accurately, what not to wear)…
mope.
/self-indulgent girlie post
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