nothing tastes as good as victory, man. except for maybe fresh baked pie. raspberry and peach pie, with a circle pattern crust (lattice-crust is so five years ago, man). fresh from the oven and sweetly baked deliciousness…it’s what victory tastes like.
mmmmmmmmmm pie…
while shopping for groceries today, the boy and i learned that even canadians park like assholes. way to take up four.fucking.spots. in the shaw’s parking lot, guy. with a fuckin’ kayak on yer damn roof.
jeez.
in other news: THE RAIDERS FUCKIN’ POUNDED ON THE JETS IN OVERTIME! VICTORY! VICTORY! W00T!
and i am making a pie
so, first off: lane kiffin was fired as head coach of the raiders. this is following their drop to a 1-3 record after the unbelievable loss to san diego (seriously, how the fuck do you blow a 15-0 led to lose by 10?).
everyone knew kiffin’s days were numbered, hell, even he knew it.
al davis, that veritable zombie of the nfl, announced officially that kiffin is done. fired. finito. stick a fork in ’em. in the interim, tom cable has been announced as temporary head coach of the raiders. and honestly, after the past season we had and the preseason, i am not surprised that kiffin is going, going…gone. maybe he was just too young to deal with the raiders legacy and rebuild a team. who knows.
all i want is for this drama to be over and everyone get back to business. the silver and black attack, you know? we’re so close…everything is right within the grasp of the team and it’s still early in the season. i’m hoping this bye week gives everyone some perspective, a chance to recover from early injuries, and some time to focus.
we have good players, young players true, but they are strong talented players. mcfadden, russell, asomugha, fargas…they are the foundation of a great team.
and you know what, no matter the record, it is a great team. the raiders are made of greatness, they will return to greatness.
no matter what, they are my team.
a picture is truly worth a thousand words.
and all of them are: ha ha!!!!
it’s that time of year again, the grass is greener, the sun is brighter, the red sox are that much closer to fucking right off and the raiders are takin’ the field for their season opener. that’s right, boys and girls, monday.night.football.
is there anything greater? is there anything more highly-anticipated?
i don’t think so.
more importantly (most important thing there is) not only is it monday night football but the RAIDERS are playing tonight as well. and not only that, but it is the season opener against the denver broncos. can you handle it!?!? christ knows i can’t.
RAIDERS ON MONDAY NIGHTS: The Raiders have a 36-23-1 overall record on Monday Night Football since the inception of the weeknight prime-time series in 1970, and have met the Broncos on Monday Night 14 times with the first game in 1973. The Raiders posted a 38-28 win over the Broncos the last time the teams met on Monday Night Football in Oakland (11/5/01). The Raiders defeated the Broncos in Denver 34-10 in the 500th regular season telecast of Monday Night Football on November 11, 2002.
This Monday night’s game marks the third time in the past four years that the Silver and Black have opened the regular season in prime time and on national television. The Raiders premiered Monday Night Football on ESPN to open the 2006 season, hosting San Diego and participated in the NFL’s Thursday night regular season kickoff at New England in 2005.RAIDERS-BRONCOS SERIES: The Raiders lead the series 54-39-2 over the Broncos in regular season play since the teams first met in 1960. The teams are 1-1 in the postseason. The Raiders are 2-0 in home openers versus Denver, having hosted the Broncos to kick off the regular season in 1967 (51-0) and 1990 (14-9).
i am beyond excited for the season. coach kiffin is going into his second year with the raiders (a rarity in and of itself) and we have lots of new blood on the team. russell is coming into his own as a quarterback and the defense is still a strong point overall. i’m looking forward to seeing darren mcfadden really going all out in a regular season game. sure, preseason is telling enough; but people sometimes hold back in preseason games. i am excited to see mcfadden really go all out in a game situation.
GO RAIDERS!
the patriots? THEY LOST LOST LOST LOST LOST!!!
oh thank you sweet jebus for dumping such a rousing DEFEAT on their smarmy, arrogant, douchebag asses. fuck you tom brady, fuck you randy moss, and fuck you bill belichick. i guess it’s true what they say: CHEATERS NEVER PROSPER!
and i couldn’t be happier. this victory is for everyone the patriots stomped on, for every fuckbag pats fan that doesn’t know the meaning of decorum, for every head coach that doesn’t stoop to such low levels of “competition”. the evil empire has been BROUGHT DOWN. a-men!
hell, even i didn’t think the giants could do it because i mean…it’s the giants. what have they got to show for a season other than an 0-2 start and a manning brother that is still wet behind the ears? yet, eli had an uncanny knack for executing 3rd down conversions every time. and though it wasn’t the most beautiful game played on the giants part, they controlled the ball and held back the tom brady machine. oh and how sweet was it to see precious, precious defeat etched into that stupid face? suck.it.dry.brady! and i think the defining moment of the new england patriots during the superbowl and of their entire season was this: their own “head coach” couldn’t even stand to stick around for them in the final one.fucking.second. of the game.
what does that tell you?
sportsmanship, good conduct, pride in your men, strong leadership…these are all things that belichick wouldn’t know if they bit him on his creepy, douchey ass. i mean, it’s one thing when an egotistical player pulls a stunt like that, but when i coach does it? much less the head coach? weak.
the empire has been brought down, boys and girls. hell yes!
ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTBAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLL!??!?!
ahem.
yes, yes, it’s that time of year again boys and girls: superbowl fuckin’ sunday.
truly the one and only real american holiday. it has all the basic tenets of bein’ an american in one spectaculagganza: rampant consumerism, thinly veiled sexual exploitation, homoerotic competition, over-exaggerated brawn & prowess, media propaganda and good ol’ american sportsmanship. can you smell it? can you? it smells like freedom.
team america, FUCK YEAH!
but you know what? i don’t care. sure the ads are a ridiculous ploy to warp the minds of the american consumer; and of course far too much totally unhealthy food is consumed by the masses; and obviously it’s not really a world championship…but when you strip away all that bullshit what you have left is football.
football, ladies and gentlemen, that wonderful past-time of full-contact, no-holds-barred, totally exhilarating competition. and of course, i’d be lying if i said i wasn’t disappointed that my boys in silver & black aren’t playing this year…but they have had their years, and they will have them again. i have no love for either team competing, but that does not dissuade from my love of the game. a whole season boils down to this one pivotal moment…for every team.
it’s an unspoken holiday, superbowl sunday is. and i fully intend to celebrate: beers are in the fridge, bbq pork is simmering in deliciousness, chips & dips are being prepared. it is a good thing.
the only thing that will top off the day is if tom brady comes down with an explosive case of herpes. but, in the event that doesn’t happen, i’ll settle for a giants win (the ny giants? wtf? who expected that?!). superbowls lose their luster when there isn’t a team you’re even vaguely interested in playing…but, i have a tendency to vote for the underdog so:
